The Consequences of a Lie
by TheDogSage
Summary: After stealing the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, Naruto finds another scroll in it that reveals truths and lies that the Sandaime hoped to keep buried. How will he handle the discovery, and what changes will be brought about because of it?
1. The Painful Discovery

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu! Nope, me not owning Naruto... Or really, anything used in this fic... Not even the OCs, they're more horrid abominations created from amalgamating various traits and ideas into beings to be used so I'm not forced to make actual characters OOC to fit my story idea. I am the fanfic DR. FRANKENSTEIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *dramatic lightning... no jutsu*

* * *

Smiling broadly, Naruto took the large "Forbidden Scroll of Sealing" slung to his back and dropped it on the ground of the hidden clearing in the forest, wiping the sweat from his brow with his forearm. Resting his hands on his hips, he turned his eyes to the night sky and thought 'Heh, even with the Hokage involved, this make-up test was easy! Now, all I gotta do is learn one measly jutsu and then I'll be one step closer to being Hokage.'

'And maybe... maybe Iruka-sensei will be proud of me too.'

With that though spurring him on, the hyper-active blonde decided it was time to get down to work before Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei came to finish his make-up test. Turning to the scroll and unfurling the massive roll of paper to reveal a few jutsu and diagrams for performing them, he sat beside it and began reading, looking for one he could learn successfully before time was up.

Looking over the jutsus he'd unveiled, he felt a sense of dread overtake him as he muttered "Awww man, these are hard too!" Grumbling, he unrolled the scroll again, reading through the next set of jutsus unveiled for his perusal. Frowning, he noticed that so far the easiest one was Kage Bunshin, and that was a friggin' Bunshin. He sucked at those!

Pulling a small pad of stick-it notes from a pouch on his waist, he pulled off the topmost paper and stuck it on the scroll as a placemark so he could return to the Kage Bunshin later if something easier wasn't found.

Several more measured unrolls brought up several more bouts of disappointment. The blonde could already feel his frustation growing at the stupid scroll, at stupid Iruka-sensei for failing him, and most especially this stupid make-up test that was harder than the original test.

However, his frustration disappeared as he saw his name printed clearly on the scroll, directly above a storage seal on the paper. Raising an eyebrow, he brought a thumb up to his mouth and nicked it on his canine. Swiping the lightly pooling blood on his thumb across the seal, he watched as it exploded into a burst of smoke. Coughing and waving the smoke away, he saw it to be a second, much smaller scroll with his name on it as well, each end of the center bar bearing what appeared to be three lines spiraling inward to the center.

Grabbing the scroll, he quickly swiped blood across the lock seal and all but tore it open, revealing its contents to him, apparently their intended recipient.

_Dear Naruto-kun,_

_First and foremost, please allow me to apologize for what I've done to you. I never wanted to do it, but I had no choice but to seal the Kyuubi no Kitsune inside of you. I had to put Konoha before my own feelings, before you, and doing so is my greatest regret. I just hope that Kushina-chan can forgive me for sacrificing you like this and for the lie I had Jiraiya-sensei and Sarutobi-sama tell her about your death from the sealing. If everyone has listened to my words and followed my final wish, then you are seen as a hero for holding back their destruction every day of your life and the lack of both parents will be meaningless in the events of your life, especially with Jiraiya-sensei there for you._

_If not... I'm afraid we couldn't allow her to take you away from Konoha. I believe the village will need you in the coming future, and I know that had she seen what I feared may have become of you due to the village's hatred, she would have taken you far away from Konoha. And unfortunately, the plans me, Jiraiya-sensei, and Sarutobi-sama have for you require you to be within Konoha for good or ill, so to allow that would have ruined everything._

_I only pray to Kami that you can find it in your heart to one day forgive us for our actions, and hope you can learn to understand why I had no choice but to place Konoha before you. As Hokage, I had to sacrifice myself for the good of my people, and as my son, you had to bear a weight that I couldn't ask another to do to their child when I had you at hand._

_Furthermore, if you do not already know about it, I want you to know that you are not the Kyuubi, but its container and jailer. Do not allow anyone to ever tell you otherwise, because I would not damn anyone, especially you, to such a thing._

_I love you, my son._

_Your father and the Yondaime Hokage,_

_Namikaze Minato_

He stared at the note written to him re-reading it several times as his mind tried desperately to make sense of it all. He wasn't just another orphan, but was the son of the Yondaime Hokage. And if not for some plan of two Hokages and the Yondaime's sensei, he could of had a mother, someone to love him, take care of him, to kiss his cuts and scrapes to make them better, and most importantly, someone to hold him, telling him everything was alright whenever he was sad or scared.

Then it hit him... He had the Kyuubi no Kitsune sealed within in him by the Yondaime, who claimed to be his father. All those looks, those cruel words, being forced to pay more for food and clothes, the total isolation... It all made sense.

The scroll slipped from his hands, making a soft thud as it hit the ground and unrolled further as rolled across the ground. Naruto soon followed, landing on his knees as his legs gave out on him, sending pain through him as they connected with the ground. But Naruto paid the pain no mind as he stared at his own shaking hands, his mind working hard to make sense of everything he'd just learned.

'The Yondaime is my father. h-he sealed the Kyuubi in me, and the Sandaime knew this. Not only did he know, but they took away my mother. He made me the Kyuubi... No! He said I wasn't... But, how can I believe what he says? I might be the Kyuubi, and he's trying to trick me... But I'm his son, so why would he do that to me?... It doesn't make sense...'

So deep in his own thoughts, he didn't hear as Mizuki softly landed in the clearing, sneering at the blonde Genin-wannabe as he asked "So, you actually tried to learn something from the Scroll of Sealing, huh? Apparently it was too much for you even to just read about those techniques. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to take the scroll and be going."

As he looked to the scroll, he saw the smaller scroll Naruto had unsealed. This caused the man to raise an eyebrow as he walked over and picked up the open scroll, holding it up and reading it, wondering what exactly the blonde had seen in the scroll to cause such a reaction.

But when he read its contents, his already pale complexion grew even whiter, eyes widening as a shudder coursed through him, disbelief and confusion making its way through his veins. Gripping the paper scroll tightly, he worked to wrap his mind around the contents of this simple, almost inconspicuous scroll.

'I-it's a forgery, it has to be!' Mizuki thought, eyes scanning the paper. But he'd seen enough samples of handwriting, especially the Yondaime's, over the years that he could immediately spot any such forgery, no matter how skilled said forger was. Even the Uchihas couldn't get anything past him, his skills were so complete. It was his job before joining the academy, and he was as much a master at spotting forgeries as Maito Gai was at taijutsu, or Hatake Kakashi was at being incredibly late with horrible excuses.

Which could only mean...

Turning his eyes to the still-kneeling blonde, who looked as if he'd been frozen in place, he coughed and asked "Na-Naruto, have y-you seen this scroll?" When Naruto didn't so much as look at him, Mizuki walked slowly over to the teen, and carefully placed his hand on his shoulder. This caused Naruto's head to snap up, eyes on the gray-haired instructor, which widened in horror as he realized the man was there.

"Mi-Mizuki-sensei! You shouldn't be near me!" Naruto cried, jerking away from the silver-haired man and scuttling backwards from him.

"Why?" Mizuki asked, and Naruto answered "Ca-cause I'm the Kyuubi, and I might kill you! I-I don't want to hurt you or any of my precious people! Please don't come near me!"

This caused Mizuki to stare at him for several long moments, any lingering beliefs of Naruto being the Kyuubi quickly disappating at hearing the pure fear in the blonde's voice at the thought of hurting him. Something he knew the Kyuubi couldn't replicate, especially in regards to humans, whom the great beast saw as little more than insects.

Naruto barely had time to register Mizuki had moved before the man was before him kneeling near eye-level, pulling him against his chest. Hugging Naruto tightly, Mizuki felt tears begin flowing down his face as he said "You're not the Kyuubi, Naruto. You can't possibly be the Kyuubi, because the Kyuubi wouldn't worry about me or the people of Konoha!"

"Wh-what?" Naruto asked, his mind not wanting to acknowledge what he'd heard, and Mizuki continued "You're Uzumaki Naruto, one of my students and you are NOT the Kyuubi."

Naruto stared at the chuunin hugging him and felt his own eyes water before he buried his face into the man's vest and wrapped his arms around him, returning the hug as his shoulders shook lightly as years of pent-up emotion were finally released in one cathartic burst.

_'I've... no, the village has made a horrible mistake in regards to you, Naruto. But I promise that I'll make up for __**my**__ mistakes, Naruto, starting now.'_ Mizuki thought, listening as the child he long believed to be a demon softly sobbed into his chest.

For half an hour Mizuki just knelt their hugging the blonde teen as he released a torrent of emotions he'd locked away so as not to appear weak to the people of Konoha. When he finally calmed down, he reluctantly pulled away from his sensei enough to see his face, eyes shining with tears meeting Mizuki's own teary eyes as he murmured "I-I'm sorry Mizuki-sensei, I know shinobi aren't supposed to cry."

Mizuki smirked and lifted a hand, ruffling blonde locks as he said "Don't worry, its OK for shinobi to cry. We just got to know when it's OK to cry and when it's not. And I'm certain this is when its OK."

Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, Naruto returned the smirk with a slight frown as he asked "So I guess since you found me before I learned a jutsu that I failed the test, huh?"

Mizuki stared at the blonde for several moments before he remembered his 'plan'. Shaking his head, his smile returned as he said "Of course not, Naruto. In fact, I'm here to help you learn one of those jutsu. Konoha shinobi help one another after all, right?"

Naruto smiled and nodded as he said "Right!"

Releasing Naruto and standing, Mizuki turned to the large 'Forbidden Scroll of Sealing' as he said "Now, lets get to work before Iruka-sensei gets here to proctor the test."

Leaping to his feet, Naruto gave the silver-haired man a salute as he said "Hai Mizuki-sensei!"

* * *

When Iruka found his favorite student, he expected many things, each more horrible than the last. However, he didn't expect to find Mizuki and Naruto, both sweating and dirty, sitting in the limbs of a tree over what appeared to be swampy, muddy earth, their backs against the tree and talking amicably, the large Forbidden Scroll of Sealing sitting before them perched on two branches closed, a much smaller scroll sticking out of Naruto's windbreaker pocket.

At seeing the brown-haired Chuunin crouched in a nearby, Naruto's face broke into one of his giga-watt smiles as he said "Hey Iruka-sensei, I'm more than prepared for my make-up exam!"

At hearing that, Iruka frowned, staring incredulously at the blonde genin as he asked "Make-up exam, what are you talking about?"

"You know, the one for students who don't pass the regular exam but have the skills necessary for being a genin! The one where I was supposed to 'steal' a fake Forbidden Scroll of Sealing to learn a jutsu inside it for." Naruto explained, as Iruka looked to Mizuki, not quite understanding the blonde and hoping his associate could explain. The look he saw as he met the silver-haired man's eyes begged to 'go with it and I'll explain later'.

Turning back to Naruto, Iruka placed his hands on his hips and asked "So, which jutsu did you learn from the fake Forbidden Scroll?"

Rubbing the back of his head, Naruto grinned and answered "I only managed to learn two jutsu, even with Mizuki-sensei's help. But they're really awesome, I promise!"

Hearing that, Iruka could barely stop from gaping at the grinning blonde, thinking 'Th-those jutsu are kinjutsu, and with Mizuki's help he managed to learn TWO!?'

"Well, which ones did you learn?" Iruka asked, and Naruto's grin turned into a smirk as he easily leapt from his perch, the drenched earth splashing mud and water from his landing. Once there, he brought his hands before him in a cross seal as he cried out "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Several bursts of smoke appeared, and to the scar-nosed chuunin's amazement, one orange-clad blonde quickly became 7 orange-clad blondes.

"N-no way..." Iruka murmured, exiting his own tree before walking slowly toward the closest of the blondes and poking him in the forehead. His finger didn't pass through like he expected, but met resistance just like real flesh.

"We're all real, sensei." the Naruto he'd poked said, five of the other Narutos walking up to him, each taking their turn to prod the brown-haired man's chest with an index finger, all of them smirking widely at the thunderstruck chuunin.

"Ho-how..." Iruka asked, and Mizuki chuckled from his perch as he said "That's not all, Iruka-san. Naruto, show him the other jutsu you learned!"

"OK Mizuki-sensei!" Naruto called back, the other Naruto's dispersing as the original smiled to Iruka and waved his hands and said "You might want to step back, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka, curious and a little uncertain of what was going to happen, moved to the edge of the clearing. Once certain that Iruka wasn't in the immediate danger zone, Naruto began moving through a series of handseals, ending by placing his hands together as if he were praying.

"Suiton: Suishouha!" Naruto cried, and to Iruka's amazement, a large spinning pillar of water seemingly appeared to surround him. Following the pillar into the sky, Iruka saw that it easily towered above the treetops. After several seconds, it dispersed, once more drenching the clearing with water and sending it outward, which splashed against Iruka's knees before settling over his ankles.

"Na-Naruto..." Iruka gaped, and the blonde smiled to him before his wavered and collapsed onto his butt into the mud, panting and sweating.

"Seems you've used up a lot of chakra tonight, Naruto-kun." Mizuki said as he leapt from his seat and landed next to Naruto, ruffling his hair.

"Yeah, I guess I did..." Naruto said with a weak grin before looking to Iruka and asked "So Iruka-sensei, did I pass?"

Blinking, it took several seconds for Iruka to return to the present before he said "Wha-wha... Oh yeah, Naruto, you definitely pass. No doubt about it with that display."

"Congratulations Naruto-kun, I'm proud of you." Mizuki said, Iruka sighing and smiling as he walked over and knelt down before the blonde. Reaching behind his head, Iruka untied his hitai-ate and easily tied it around the blonde's head.

Naruto watched in stunned silence as he watched Iruka give him the brown-haired chuunin's personal hitai-ate. After it was finally secured, Naruto felt tears welling in his eyes as he launched himself into the brunette's chest, hugging him tight as Iruka returned it with one of his own. Looking from the blonde against his chest to his fellow chuunin, Iruka was shocked to find a combination of happiness and guilt on the silver-haired man's face.

"Come on Iruka-san, I think we need to be heading back." Mizuki said, Iruka nodding as he said "Yeah, we should." Turning to tell Naruto, the chuunin was surprised to find that he was already fast asleep, face buried in the man's vest.

Sighing, Iruka gently gathered the sleeping blonde into his arms bridal style, looking toward Mizuki, who was in the tree getting the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing. Once it was secured on his back, the silver-haired man jumped down and stood beside Iruka. Shifting the blonde so that he was resting against his back, Iruka sighed and stared walking, Mizuki easily falling in step with him.

"So, what exactly happened today?" Iruka asked, and looking to the blonde against the man's back, Mizuki ran a hand over his cloth-covered head, muttering "Well, it goes like this..."

* * *

Sitting at his desk, Sarutobi sighed after informing the chuunin and jounin searching for Naruto the blonde had been found and was being brought to him. Leaning back in his chair, the elderly Hokage turned to the four pictures on the wall, focusing on the last of the four, which was of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed man wearing a white coat with fire-style trim, a tri-pronged kunai in hand.

"Minato, when did everything go so horribly wrong?" Sarutobi asked the picture rhetorically, knowing that the image of the deceased Yondaime would not answer. And, some part of Sarutobi's heart already knew the answer, he was just unwilling to listen.

If he would, it would tell him it all went to Hell the moment he listened to the insane plan concocted by the Yondaime and Jiraiya. A plan consisting of placing the Kyuubi no Kitsune within his newborn son and then purposefully orphaning him by driving the child's birth mother away. A plan in which they believed that the people of Konoha were more than human, that they would be able to ignore the fear and pain the Kyuubi brought upon them and treat its container like the hero he was. That, even when they didn't know the child was the Yondaime's son, they would love the boy for protecting them every day of his life from certain destruction.

But, the people of Konoha were not the benevolent deities that Minato and Sarutobi saw them as, they were humans. They felt pain, fear, and anger, same as anyone else. And when lacking the source of those feelings to punish, they would find a suitable scapegoat, anything to suffer as they had suffered. That job fell onto the unwanting shoulders of Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and as far as any of them knew, family-less orphan.

They never outright physically attacked him, no. Instead, they did something that most people felt was far worse to a developing child: they ignored him. They treated him as if he didn't truly exist, as if he were no more worthy of their attention than the insects one might find beneath a large rock, or the slime that those bugs wallow in. They never spoke to him, store-owners and restaurants refused to serve him, leaving him to largely fend for himself.

But worse, when when they looked or spoke about him, they did so with eyes and speech normally reserved for a diseased, dying rat laying atop the refuse in a dumpster. And to a small child in Konoha, that was believed to be far worse than any physical blow, which at least said they acknowledged him, if only with negative emotions. To a small child, such complete and utter social isolation was a devistating thing.

He knew it, but he chose to buried it deeper and deeper beneath delusions and beliefs that everything was just small injustices, and that it was the best for young Naruto in the long run. Truthfully, they were indeed small. But all those small injustices gathered themselves into a very cruel, abominable life for young Naruto, who was forced to grow up and grow up quick just to survive. Forced to learn to shop for himself, cook for himself, clean up for himself, and take care of his own illnesses and injuries, all at an age when most kids were most concerned about playing with their friends, leaving that stuff for their parents.

That was the only way the elderly Hokage found he could sleep at night, by lying to himself until he actually begun to believe those lies. His belief was absolute, save for that small part of his heart, the part that refused to accept those lies he told himself. The part of his heart that tried to force him to acknowledge that those pained looks when Naruto was forced away from kids his own age by parents, the longing glances at families walking together, playing together, and eating together, that all his desperate attempts to get acknowledged were the fault of three men.

And they were the fault of three men, namely himself, his student Jiraiya, and Jiraiya's student and the boy's own father, the Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Minato. All because of a plan that was devised by Minato and Jiraiya before his son was even born, and began implimentation before the man's corpse had even begun to cool.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how one looked at it, the elderly leader was forced out of his thoughts by his intercom coming to life, his secretary speaking "Chuunins Touji Mizuki and Umino Iruka are here with Academy Student Uzumaki Naruto and the Scroll, Hokage-sama."

Pushing the send button, Sarutobi said "Thank you, Fuuko. Please send them in."

Little did the man called Hokage realize how much things had changed that night, and just how much they would continue to do so in the coming months.

* * *

Welp, this is my new fanfic, based on dracohalo117's 'Naruto Hates the Yondaime' challenge. Enjoy the Naru/Anko/Possible Harem goodness!

Oh, and please go to my profile and vote on which summon creature Naruto should use... Please!


	2. Enter Anko!

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

* * *

Looking over the trio now standing before his desk, Sarutobi took note of each in turn. Iruka looked angry and ashamed, and he seemed unable to look at anyone but Naruto, as if not daring to look at either him or Mizuki. Mizuki seemed deeply ashamed about something, his eyes focusing on the far wall, not looking at anyone else in the room. And Naruto was staring at the wooden desk, appearing to be deep in thought, an emotional war waging within him.

Walking forward, Mizuki retrieved the scroll from his back and sat it on the desk before Sarutobi as he muttered "The Forbidden Scroll of Sealing returned safe and sound, Hokage-sama."

"I see that." the elderly Hokage said, before turning his eyes on Naruto as he asked "Now, would you care to explain to me why exactly you stole it, Naruto?"

"Mizuki-sensei told me that I was to 'steal' a fake scroll and learn a jutsu from it for a make-up exam." Naruto explained, a white eyebrow rising as Sarutobi looked to Mizuki and asked "Is that true, Mizuki-san?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Mizuki stated, Sarutobi sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his forehead as his eyes slid closed.

"Naruto, I'm afraid there is no such 'make-up' exam, and that Mizuki to lied to you." Sarutobi said, the blonde's eyes widening, then narrowing as he said "That's not true. You're lying to me again!"

Tired brown eyes snapped open, focusing on the blonde as he asked "What do you mean by that? I have never lied to you!"

"Yes you have! Whenever I asked if you knew who my parents were or if you knew why everyone hated me and you said you didn't know! You did know, and you lied to me!" Naruto snapped back, glaring at the elderly leader, whose face began paling as he asked "Who told you that?"

"The Yondaime, my so-called father!" Naruto practically snarled, retrieving the scroll from his pocket and tossing it at Sarutobi. The wizened man easily caught the projectile, his already paling face losing the rest of its color as he recognized the scroll that'd been tossed at him.

"Naruto, you need to understand..." Sarutobi began, but the blonde cut him off, tears welling in his eyes as he yelled "Understand?! I understand that you, some Jiraiya person, and the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into me and took my kaa-san away from me by telling her that I was dead! You purposefully left me orphaned and alone in a village that hates the fact I was born! What don't I understand?!"

Sarutobi stared into the boy's blue eyes so much like his father's, and saw the anger and hatred boiling in them. Finding himself unable to look into them any further, he closed his own as he said "It was Minato's dying wish for you to live in Konoha and be one of her ninja. We couldn't allow Kushina to take you away if what we feared would happen came to pass. So yes, we told Kushina you'd died that night, so that you would remain here no matter what. His plans were... are too important for her to interfere with, so he left me with no other choice. You will see it was the right decision in time, trust me."

The three men standing before the desk stared at Sarutobi in stunned silence, trying to comprehend what they'd just been told. The elderly Hokage didn't open his eyes, not wishing to see what emotions might potentially be in the blonde's eyes. Finally, after several tense moments, Naruto took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he at last came to a decision.

"I hate you."

Though the words were spoken barely above a whisper, to Sarutobi it felt as if the blonde were screaming with all the force he could muster. Those three, simple words struck the elderly man's heart with the force of a sledgehammer wielded by an Akamichi, shattering it into tiny pieces.

Sighing, the elderly man replied "You don't mean that, Naruto."

The boy's eyes snapped open, blue burning with an ethereal fire as he screamed "Yes I do! I hate you and I hate the Yondaime! You took everything away from me, forced me to live alone and unloved, all for some stupid plan! You've lied to me over and over again! You pretended to care about me while betraying me every day of my life! YOU TOOK MY KAA-SAN AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARDS! I HATE YOU!"

Turning, the blonde ran from the office, ignoring as the elderly Hokage stood and gave a pleading cry of "Naruto, wait!"

Hearing the telltale slam of the waiting room door, he collapsed into his chair, covering his eyes with a whithered hand as he muttered "What've I done?"

Staring at the elderly man coldly, Iruka stood bolt upright, hands behind his back as he replied crisply "Honestly, Hokage-sama, I don't know where to begin. But first, I need to find Naruto before something happens to him."

"Iruka, when you find Naruto..." Sarutobi began, sighing as he continued "When you find Naruto, inform him that the conversation held in this room and the facts discussed are classified as an S-Rank secret."

Iruka merely nodded quickly before turning and leaving the office to follow after Naruto, leaving Mizuki and Sarutobi alone. Turning to the final of the three who'd enter, Sarutobi leveled a glare at Mizuki as he asked "Now, what's this about a 'make-up exam' involving Naruto?"

Falling into his own chair, Mizuki gave a defeated sigh and began explaining everything for a second time that night.

* * *

After exiting the Hokage Tower, Naruto began running. He didn't know nor care where he was going, turning up streets and down alleyways at random, just wanting, needing to get away. He needed somewhere to hide away, a place to gather his thoughts and clear his head. His emotions were swirling like a vortex within him, and the tears filling his eyes and trailing down his cheeks blinded him, leaving him unable to see the figure exiting the all-night dango stand, stretching her arms with a contented sigh.

"Ah, nothing ends a succesful mission quite like a dango binge!" Anko said happily, patting her comfortably-stuffed stomach before releasing a contented burp.

So caught up in the kind of high she could only gain from a post-successful mission dango binge, she barely noticed the blonde-topped orange projectile charging toward her. Noticing at the last moment, she casually spun out of the way and caught the small form by the collar jacket, growling "Watch where you're going shrimp, you almost ran me over!"

"Shut up!" Naruto growled, struggling to pull free, and scoffing, Anko spun the blonde so he faced her, fully prepared to put the fear of Mitarashi Anko in him. However, the idea died as quickly as it was born when she saw the angry blonde's face, and more importantly, his eyes. Tear-filled eyes that were mirrors to his soul, showing that he'd been betrayed in a way that it struck his very heart and soul. A betrayal that would linger for years to come, one he would learn to live with but could never truly overcome.

A pair of eyes she'd seen in every reflective surface for years after Orochimaru's betrayal. In fact, right now it was almost like she was looking into a mirror.

"Leave me alone." Naruto hissed, and Anko's face hardened, her eyes steeling as she said "No can do, shrimp."

"Why?" the blonde asked, glaring at her, and returning the blonde to his feet, Anko replied "Because you don't need to be alone right now. You need someone to talk with and share whatever's hurting you, and its going to be me, because I know what you're going through."

"How would you know what I'm going through?!" Naruto snarled, and the special jounin stiffened momentarily before she leaned down until they were practically nose-to-nose, the look in her eyes caused him to take a step back, a sense of dread filling him.

"How would I know... How would I know what you're going through?!" she hissed, grabbing his shoulder hard enough to force a yelp of pain as she snarled "I am Mitarashi Anko, former apprentice to the legendary traitor Orochimaru, and when he was forced to escape Konoha, I went with him like a goddamn fool. And how did he repay my blind loyalty? With horrible experiments and a permanent reminder of my stupidity that glares back at me every time I look in a mirror." As she spoke, she used her free hand to pull down the collar of her chainmail bodysuit, revealing the seal on her neck.

"And when he was done with me, he left me to die without a second thought! I returned to Konoha, and have been forced to suffer for that one mistake ever since with doubt, whispered insults, and distrust no matter how often I prove my loyalty to Konoha!" she finished with a snarl. Taking several deep, calming breaths, she closed her eyes and rose up, releasing Naruto's shoulder.

Turning her back to him, she muttered "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'll be leaving now."

She barely managed to take two steps before she felt Naruto grab her wrist. Tearing her wrist from his grasp and turning to him, she saw he had his head bowed, not daring to look at her. "What?" Anko asked, and Naruto didn't look up as he replied "I... I just want to say that I'm sorry for saying that. I didn't know."

Sighing, Anko rubbed her forehead and replied "It's alright. Do you want to talk to me about it now?"

"Yeah..." Naruto said, Anko smirking as she said "Alright then, come on. I have a feeling that we're going to need some sake before this night is over."

"Bu-but I'm..." Naruto began, only for Anko to cut him off as she flicked the metal protector on his forehead and she said "With this you're a shinobi of Konoha, and as such are considered to be an adult. You can drink, you can smoke..." a rather lewd smirk crossed her face as she said "Hell, you can even have sex should you so desire."

"Se-sex?" Naruto asked, his face darkening as Anko said "Yes, sex, which you obviously know about, considering the reaction. That's good, because I would worry about the education system of Konoha if you didn't. But don't worry, I'm not offering..."

Seeing Naruto relax, her lewd smirk grew as she moved so her breast were mere inches from his face as she continued "Unless you want me too."

She was treated to the expected blood spurting from Naruto's nose as his eyes rolled back and he began to collapse, only to be caught by Anko. Slinging him over her shoulder like a sack of potatos, Anko playfully patted his butt as she said "Come on tiger, can't just leave you lying in the street. You can rest in my apartment and we'll talk after you wake up."

With her plan in mind, she took to the rooftops toward her apartment, the unconscious Naruto in tow.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he shifted slightly, a hand moving to his forehead in an attempt to rub the headache out of existance. As the pain slowly subsided, he began thinking about what exactly happened before his unscheduled nap. It came to him quickly, and he shot bolt-upright, eyes wide in search of Anko. Unfortunately, this caused the receeding headache to return full-force, and with a pained groan, he slumped back, holding his head.

"Here, this'll help."

Cracking an eye open, he saw that Anko was standing before him, a couple of white caplets in her outstretched hand, a glass of water in the other. Taking the pills and glass of water from her, he sniffed them for a moment before popping the pills into his mouth, washing them down with the water.

Relaxing into his seat, he opened his eyes and looked around his current location, noting it to be a rather spartan living room, with a recliner nearby in front of a TV, a few pictures, a coffee table, and he was seated on a rather comfortable leather couch. Turning to look beside him as he felt Anko sit down, he sipped at the remaining water and asked "Where are we?"

"My apartment. Not much, I know, but I call it home." Anko said, getting comfortable as she asked "Now, what's causing your problems?"

Naruto was about to tell her he didn't want to talk about it, but then remembered her telling him of the cause of her problems. Sighing, he shifted slightly, looking to the mostly-empty glass of water in his hands as he started talking, beginning with his failing of the Genin Exams and continuing from there. As he told her of the smaller scroll he'd found in the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, he didn't notice her face darken, a furious heat beginning to burn in her eyes.

A heat that grew into a roaring inferno as he told of the conversation with the Sandaime, and finished by telling how he'd run out of the building, unsure of where he was going until he bumped into her.

Sighing, he gave a bitter smile as he said "I guess that at least explains why noone'll ever love me, neh?"

And with that, the inferno burning within Anko's eyes seemed to vanish, replaced with a sense of understanding and empathy. It was followed by a disapproving frown, and she proceeded to grind her knuckles into the top of his head as she said "I don't want to hear you putting yourself down like that!"

Naruto yelped in pain under the sudden assault, sending her a glare as he rubbed the top of his head and grumbled "Well its true!"

"No its not!" Anko replied, and Naruto's stubbornness rose as he countered "Oh yeah, name one!"

It was a sudden thing, one that seemed more based on instinct than real thought. But it made sense to Anko at the moment as she jabbed herself in the chest with a thumb and said "Me."

"You?!" Naruto asked, looking at her as though she'd grown a second head, which had in turn grew at least three extra eyes, two of which were sharingans and the third being a byakugan.

"Are you suggesting there's something wrong with me?!" Anko almost growled, and with a burst of self preservation, Naruto raised his hands in a placating manner, smiling sheepishly as he replied "No! No! It's just that you said earlier that..."

Anko had to resist the urge to roll her eyes as she said "Don't you know when a woman is teasing you?"

"No." came the response from Naruto, who proceeded to take his 'thinking pose' for several moments before asking "Is that what Sakura-chan and Ino say they're doing with Sasuke?"

This time Anko couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes as she answered "Please. That's not teasing, that's desperation. I'm surprised they haven't just stripped naked and laid themselves on the desk before him with a neon sign reading 'TAKE ME NOW' glowing over them!"

"Hey! Sakura-chan isn't like that!" Naruto replied, and Anko quickly pouted, eyes becoming misty as she crossed her arms over her chest as she muttered "O-oh, I see... I'm not good enough for you, it seems. I-if that's how you feel, you can go if you want..."

Panic set in on Naruto, eyes widening as he grabbed her in a hug, pressing against her back with a cry of "That's not true! You're good enough for me!" If he could see her face, Naruto would see that the heartbroken look she'd been sporting had been replaced by a downright devious smirk as she mentally cheered just how easy it was.

Quickly schooling her face, Anko looked over her shoulder at the blonde as she sniffed and asked "Re-really?"

"Yeah! I-I'll be your boyfriend if you want!" Naruto replied, and in the blink of an eye, she'd broken free of his hug, an arm wrapped around his neck in a headlock, pressing the side of a stunned Naruto's face into her light chainmail-adorned breast with a wide grin as she said "Great! It looks like I got myself a shota boyfriend! Just wait until Kurenai-chan learns, she'll be so jealous!"

'Shota?' Naruto thought, trying to remember where he'd heard the word before. It took a few moments for his stunned mind to remember, but when he did, his face darkened and he gulped, trying to understand what exactly he'd gotten himself into. But before he could truly contemplate the consequences, Anko'd released him and pushed him upright, looking to him seriously.

"Alright, now you gotta understand something before this goes any further." Anko said, and getting a nod from the surprised Naruto she said "Like I said earlier, when you put on that hitai-ate, you legally became an adult, and as such, you're allowed to smoke whenever you want, drink whatever you want, and fuck whoever you want. However, just because its legal, doesn't mean that its accepted, at least by the civilians."

"But its not their fault, because they don't truly understand the danger we shinobi are under, especially during peacetimes like this. You see, for every shinobi like me who reaches the age of twenty, there are at least twenty-five shinobi who won't. And by thirty, there are sixty who will never see that birthyday. Forty doubles that, and fifty doubles _that_, and so on, until by the time they reach the Sandaime's age, there's well over 200 who will never see that age." Anko said, and Naruto nodded, listening silently.

"And because of that, most young shinobi tend to lose their virginity as soon as possible so they have one less regret should they be killed during a routine mission gone to shit, so that by 15, over ninty percent are no longer virgins. However, save for the rare attack on the village, civilians have no idea just how fragile a shinobi's life truly is. As such, they don't understand why exactly a thirteen year old like you is allowed to have sex even with a woman three times your age without repurcussions."

Nodding, Naruto frowned as he asked "I understand, but what does it have to do with us?"

Sighing, Anko answered "What it has to do with us is that while you're a shinobi and as such legally an adult, in the eyes of the civilians you're a thirteen year old, and I'm a twenty year old woman. As such, our relationship will most likely be looked down upon by the civilians as me 'taking advantage' of a kid, at least until they realize its you. Then they'll decide that the 'snake's deciple' and the 'demon brat' are teaming up to destroy Konoha, or decide that either I'm controlling you or you're controlling me."

She'd expected many things from Naruto after that, but what she didn't expect was Naruto to cross his arms, scowl, and say "If those temes say something about my precious person, I'll kick their asses!"

"Precious person?" Anko asked, and Naruto nodded, smiling to her as he gave a heartfelt reply of "Well, if my girlfriend isn't precious to me, then who is?"

Those deceptively simple, casual words managed to do something that hadn't been done since shortly after she'd returned to Konoha: it completely destroyed her carefully crafted emotional armor in one blow. As she stared at Naruto, she watched him grow concerned as he asked "Hey Anko-chan, you OK? You're crying."

Reaching up with a shaky hand, she touched her cheek and felt it was surpisingly wet. Scowling, she wiped her eyes on her coat sleeve and said "Nothing!" Naruto nodded in a surprising moment of understanding, looking away and allowing Anko the chance to privately compose herself.

Looking to the pictures adorning Anko's walls, he noticed one which held three genin, a burn mark above them. The middle figure was a purple-haired girl with a face-splitting smile, whom Naruto quickly recognized as a younger Anko. On her left was a stone-faced boy with long black hair and pupiless, pearl-colored eyed, and on her right was a girl with short dark-brown hair, red fang tattoos on her cheeks and slitted pupils, a feral smile on her face as she gave the camera a "V" sign. The burned-out figure, Naruto decided, was most likely the traitor Orochimaru.

However, a sudden wieght planting itself on his lap brought his attention off the picture and to Anko, who was now sitting on his lap, legs folded up on either side of his own. As she leaned in closer, Naruto tried to lean back away from her, eyeing her warily as he asked "Wh-what'cha doin' Anko-chan?"

"Oh, I was just about to have a hot and heavy make-out session with my shota boyfriend... See where it goes from there." Anko answered. Naruto smiled and nodded as he said "That's cool."

After several silent seconds, it seemed to hit Naruto, and his eyes widened as he yelped "EH?!"

Seeing the confusion in his eyes, Anko grinned, leaning forward and pressing her forehead against his, giving him her best doe-eyes as she asked "Its OK if I get your first kiss and make out with you, isn't it? I mean, I am your girlfriend, aren't I? And maybe if I'm lucky, I'll even see your personal kunai."

Moving her hips, her eyes widened before a hungered look crossed her face as she said "Or should I say your personal katana?"

Unable to meet eyes with Anko, Naruto's face darkened out of pure embarrassment, and a scandalized cry of "Anko-chaaan! Stop embarrassing me!" rang through the air.

Grinning, Anko said "Well then, if you want me to stop, then you're going to have to find a way to occupy my naughty mouth." Frowning, Naruto closed the small distance between their lips and caught Anko's with his own, getting his first, albiet clumsy, kiss. Returning it with her own, Anko noted that he lacked any real skill in kissing, but more than made up for it with passion. She grinned mentally as she noted just how much passion he was putting into the kiss, perferring passion over talent when it came to love. Because one could be taught to kiss, but one couldn't be taught this kind of passion.

Naruto, on the other hand, almost immediately realized how enjoyable the surprisingly simple act of kissing was, and made a mental note to kiss Anko as often as he possibly could. He decided that if this is part of what having a girlfriend is about, then he really liked having a girlfriend. And if anyone said anything bad about her, he'd have to teach them the error of their ways.

With his fists, if necessary.


	3. Talks and Promises of Pain

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

* * *

As the sun rose over the slowly rousing Konoha, it poured through the panes of a window and across Uzumaki Naruto's eyelids. This recieved a frustrated groan from the blonde, who rolled onto his side and buried his face into the soft, warm cloth pillows next to him to stave off consciousness a little longer.

As he snuggled into the 'pillows', their owner opened a brown eye which moved to look at the head of blonde her sticking out the top of her t-shirt 'pillows'. Smirking, she slid her hand under the blankets and gave the blonde's boxer-covered left buttock a firm pinch. This, unlike the sunlight shining through the window, awoke the blonde with a squawk of shock and mild pain. Blinking his bleary eyes, he glared at his bedpartner, grumbling "Why'd you do that Anko-chan?"

"Because I felt like it, and that butt's just oh so pinchable." Anko said with a grin, and Naruto's glare turned to a smirk as he grabbed her breast through her t-shirt and gave them a squeeze.

"Oh, so it's going to be that way, is it?" Anko asked, and getting a nod from the smirking blonde, suddenly pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist, locking eyes with him as she all but purred "Well then, I guess we're not getting out of bed today, are we?"

Before Naruto could reply, they were jerked from their staredown by sudden knocking at Anko's front door. This elicited a snarled string of obscenities from Anko, one mirrored by Naruto as both reluctantly exited the bed and stormed toward the door, dressed only in a t-shirt and black panties for Anko and a pair of boxers for Naruto.

"Alright, alright goddammit, I'm coming!" Anko snarled, the incessant knocking grating on her already bad mood due to having her 'private shota-boyfriend time' interrupted, Naruto a few steps behind her, his formerly good mood ruined.

Reached the door, Anko grabbed the handle, turned it, and almost ripped the door off the wall to reveal Iruka standing before her apartment door, hand raised to knock, looking shocked and more than a little frightened at his greeting.

"What do you want, Umino? We were in the middle of something, if you don't mind." she growled, giving him a glare that promised death, and Iruka turned to her partner, noticing it to be Naruto standing there in only his boxers, looking rather annoyed with him at the moment. At the sight of his favorite (former) student, Iruka's shock and fear disappeared, replaced with a cold resolve as his face hardened.

Brown eyes meeting brown, Iruka seemed immune to the purple-haired woman's anger as he stated in a clipped tone "Anko-san, please put on a pair of pants. We need to have a talk."

Naruto's look of annoyance deepened into anger, and he was about to make his displeasure of Iruka's tone to his girlfriend known before Iruka turned his eyes on him. At the emotions in Iruka's eyes, Naruto's words died in his throat and his outrage turned to shock as Iruka continued "Naruto, please get dressed. I'll be talking to you next."

Naruto nodded, and practically ran toward the bedroom as Anko finally recovered from the shock of the normally gentle, friendly Chuunin transforming into someone more fit to be an ANBU. Arm's crossed over her chest, she raised an eyebrow and leaned against the doorframe as she asked "What's with the sudden change, Iruka-san?"

"We're going to talk about you and Naruto." Iruka stated, to which Anko nodded and said "I figured this was coming sooner or later. I'll be back in a minute."

"Tell Naruto I'll find him later, OK?" Iruka asked, and Anko gave a wave of understanding, entering the bedroom and shutting the door behind her.

* * *

Sarutobi sighed, not having slept well after the incident last night, which ended with Mizuki being taken to the T&I headquarters for interrigation before his sentencing. Sitting at his desk, the elderly leader held his head in his hands as he stared at the small scroll sitting on the desk before him. The scroll that had told Naruto information he was not ready for, that he couldn't understand yet. The small part of his heart that refused the lies he told himself claimed that it was because it brought the truth to light and didn't allow the old leader to hide behind his long-constructed wall made up of excuses so he didn't have to take responsibility for his actions.

Hearing his office door open, Sarutobi lifted his head, prepared to tell whoever it was to go away, but stopped as he saw his former teammate Koharu standing in the doorway, leaning on her cane. Shuffling into the room, the door being shut behind her by the guard, who knew better than to try and keep her from entering the office.

Reaching the desk, she sat in the chair sitting before it, eyes flickering to the scroll before turning to her teammate as she asked "So I see the foolishness Minato-sama planned has finally blown up in your face?"

Sarutobi sighed as he heard that. Koharu had been one of the biggest opponents to Sarutobi's plan when it was told to those the elderly Hokage believed he could trust. At first, it had been because she feared that the people of Konoha would turn the boy against them with their fear and hatred, and with the power of the Kyuubi backing him, his eventual revenge would cause wide-scale destruction, if not completely destroy Konoha.

Then she'd met the newborn boy and had immediately been smitten with him like a grandmother, and she argued that to put such a sweet child through an obviously Hellish life would be the tantamount of cruelty. But Sarutobi had been adamant in his belief of the people of Konoha, and told them how the Yondaime had sacrificed his life to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto and save the village.

His belief had been mistaken, for the crowd had turned almost riotous, demanding the child to be slaughtered so that Konoha would be safe of the Kyuubi forever. Koharu merely stated 'I told you so' without a hint of amusement or satisfaction in her voice. Sarutobi had been forced to make a law that the knowledge of Naruto being a Jinchuuriki to be classified as an S-Rank secret, the revealing of which to someone who didn't know being a capital offense.

He'd also had the boy hidden away outside of the village for the first four years of his life, raised by a woman in a nearby village who had no knowledge of his containing the Kyuubi no Kitsune. After his fourth birthday, he'd been taken from the woman, leaving her heartbroken as the blonde child was taken crying and screaming from his 'kaa-san' and placed into a Konoha orphanage.

There he would stay for a year until Sarutobi was forced to give the boy his own apartment, the owner of the orphanage refusing to take care of him any longer.

Breaking from his thoughts, he looked to the woman and finally answered "Yes, I'm afraid so. But I still have faith in young Naruto's resiliancy, even in the face of this kind of revelation."

"Do you honestly believe that, or are you just telling yourself that so you don't have to recognize you've made a mistake in regards to Naruto?" Koharu asked, and Sarutobi frowned as he glared at her and said "I do believe that Koharu, and I did not make a mistake."

"Oh, just like you did not make a mistake in allowing Orochimaru to escape, or just like you did not make a mistake in not keeping a firmer leash on Danzou?" Koharu asked, Sarutobi's mood darkening further as he answered "Naruto is different from my wayward student or my misguided friend. He has the strength to make it through this, and will be a stronger man for it."

"Stronger men than Naruto have faced less and been broken for it. And those men did not live alone and isolated for as long as they can remember, only to find out that their misery and suffering was due to the insane machinations of their own father and the man they looked up to as a grandfather." Koharu answered cooly. Sarutobi stared at her, but could not come up with a rebuttal to the argument.

Standing slowly, Koharu sighed and said "For what its worth, I do pray that Naruto is able to find a way to make it through this. For his own sake, not for yours." With that, she turned and slowly exited the office, leaving her teammate feeling worse than he had before.

* * *

Sitting in a chair across from Anko in her apartment, Iruka sighed as he ran a hand over his hair, trying to figure out how exactly to begin this conversation. Making it more difficult is that when he told Naruto the events in the Hokage's office last night were an S-ranked secret, the blonde had stiffened and sent a shocked look toward Anko's bedroom, where she was still getting dressed, before scurrying out of the apartment.

"So... you know what happened in the Hokage's office, huh?" Iruka asked, and Anko nodded, sighing herself as she replied "Yeah, we talked about it last night. And let me guess, he wasn't supposed to do so, was he?"

"No, he wasn't. Hokage-sama declared it an S-ranked secret, but Naruto didn't know when he told you. Just to be safe, don't tell anyone else about it, because it seems Hokage-sama is adamant about never letting the truth out." Iruka answered, and Anko nodded in understanding.

"Now... What exactly were you and Naruto doing?" Iruka asked, and Anko smirked, arms crossed under her chest as she replied "Why, Iruka-chan, I was just about to have a morning make-out session with a side of groping with my boyfriend before you interrupted us."

"Boyfriend?!" Iruka asked, and the purple-haired woman nodded as she said "Yep. Me and the shrimp became my boyfriend last night. Not even fully sure how it happened, actually. I brought him here, we talked, he told me what happened yesterday, and before I knew it, he somehow managed to become my boyfriend. And so far, its one of the best relationships of any sort I've had in years, probably the same for him."

"I see... So, have you and him... er..." Iruka began, looking rather nervous, causing Anko's smirk to grow as she finished for him by replying "Have me and Naruto had sex? No, we haven't."

Her smirk then proceeded to fade as she said "Despite what popular rumors say, I do not spread my thighs for anything with a penis at the first opportune moment. As I said before, we've had a couple of make-out sessions and a bit of friendly groping, but he hasn't seen me naked, nor have I seen him. What you saw at the door is all we've seen of one another."

"Oh..." Iruka said, and Anko sighed as she said "I know what your thinking, 'The snake whore is probably just taking advantage of an emotionally devistated teen to get her jollies'. Most likely will become the popular opinion of those who don't already hate the shrimp..."

"That's not true!" Iruka interrupted, and Anko glared at him as she asked "Oh, and what exactly is the reason for our 'private conversation' then, Umino-san?"

"I know he's a strong kid... a strong man, but yesterday badly wounded him, and I don't want to see him hurt any further. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't going to hurt him, either intentionally or unintentionally."

"And your judgement is...?" Anko asked, raising an eyebrow, and giving a slight sigh, Iruka said "While I still don't exactly understand why you'd want to date Naruto, I understand that you do care about him, and he you. You may not exactly love him yet, and he may not love you, but you do care for one another, and really, that's what matters. So... date him if you want, just don't hurt him or rush him into anything to quickly."

Anko smiled and chuckled, shaking her head slightly as she replied "Alright Iruka, I promise to take good care of your otouto."

Iruka blinked, but then smiled himself as he said "I'm glad we can understand one another."

Standing and stretching, Iruka let out a relieved sigh as he said "Now I need to find Naruto and have a talk with him... Including 'The Talk' unfortunately."

Anko gave a devious smirk as she said "Oh, no need to worry about that. Me and him had a good long talk about sex last night too." At hearing this, Iruka promptly began sputtering and gasping, eyes wide and looking for all the world as if he'd seen Koharu and Homura doing it doggy-style on his bed.

Anko immediately burst into a fit of laughter.

* * *

Sitting at the bar of Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto slurped slowly at his noodles, seemingly deep in thought, Teuchi and Ayame watching him worriedly. He was only on his second bowl, when he should have been on his fifth preparing to dig into his sixth by now.

"Naruto-kun, are you OK?" Ayame asked, leaving against the bar, eyeing the blonde with concern.

Naruto snapped his head up to look at the brown-haired waitress, blinking several times as the question registered his mind, and answered "Oh yeah, I'm fine Ayame-niichan. I was just thinking about stuff."

"What kind of 'stuff'?" Ayame asked, and Naruto replied "S-ranked secret stuff."

"Oh." Ayame replied, understanding that if something was S-ranked, the chances of her hearing about it were about the same as Naruto giving up his love of the color orange and ramen.

Deciding to change the subject, Teuchi smirked as he asked "Say Naruto, what's this I hear from friend running the dango shop about you hooking up with older women?"

Ayame turned to her father, then the blushing blonde as she asked "Naruto-kun, is it true?!"

"It was just one woman!" Naruto cried, and seeing the faces given to him by Teuchi and Ayame, he blushed and muttered "Besides... I didn't exactly mean to, it just sort of... happened."

Teuchi smiled and asked "Whose the lucky girl, Naruto?"

"Her name's Anko-chan, and she's real pretty... Prettier than Sakura-chan even." Naruto answered, and Ayame blinked, looking stunned as she questioned "You mean Mitarashi Anko? The purple-haired lady who wears the fishnet and trenchcoat?"

"Yeah!" Naruto replied with a grin, and Ayame smiled as she said "Who knew you liked them more than a couple years older than you? If I'd know that, I might have tried before you were taken, Naruto-kun."

Naruto immediately blushed as he said "A-Ayame-niichan, I can't like you that way! You're like my sister!"

"Oh really?" Ayame asked, and at Naruto's nod, she reached over the bar and grabbed him by the cheek, pinching it as she said "Aaaw Naruto-kun, that's so sweet! You can be just adorable when you say things like that!"

"Owowowowowowowowowowow!" Naruto yelped, struggling to get out of the bear trap-like grip of Ayame's cheek pinch.

"Careful you don't go to overboard, Ayame. Wouldn't want my main source of income injured and unable to keep us in business!" Teuchi said with a laugh, and Ayame grinned as she said "Don't worry dad, I doubt a little pinched cheek could keep Naruto from enjoying his favorite ramen!"

"Right Ayame-niichan!" Naruto replied, his raised spirits causing him to dig into the bowl of ramen with renewed gusto, quickly cleaning it of its contents.

Holding out his bowl, Naruto smiled and said "Another bowl Teuchi-jiji, beef this time!"

"And get me a bowl of miso ramen if you would, Ayame-san."

Naruto turned to his dining partner and smiled as he watched Iruka sit on the stool next to him, leaning on the bar with a slight smile on his face. Grinning to Iruka, Naruto asked "Ne, you done talking with Anko-chan Iruka-sensei?"

"Yeah Naruto, I am. Got to say you sure can pick'em." Iruka said, smiling to his favorite (former) student, the blonde smiling as he said "I like her too..." Naruto's smile slowly drooped into a frown, and staring at the bar he asked "So Iruka-sensei, are you gonna tell ji-Hokage-sama?"

Iruka looked at the blonde curiously for a moment before it clicked. Shaking his head, he ruffled the blonde's locks as he said "Of course not, Naruto. You obviously didn't know the law at the time, and you were going to have to talk about it with someone. Just keep it to yourself from now on."

"Kay, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said with a smile, and the man smiled back as Ayame placed their ramen before them. Breaking open his chopsticks, Iruka prepared to eat, but stopped as he said "And Naruto..."

"Mmmm?" the blonde asked, his mouth already stuffed with the delicious noodles. Iruka sighed and said "Just... don't do anything your not comfortable with, OK? It won't make you any less of a man to wait until your comfortable with... that."

Naruto blinked a couple of times before understanding dawned, and his cheeks darkened. Quickly chewing and swallowing his mouthful, Naruto turned to the brown-haired man as he said "I-I know that, Iruka-sensei! I'm not stupid, ya know!"

"I was just making sure, Naruto." Iruka said, and Naruto nodded before turning back to his ramen, Iruka doing the same.

* * *

Anko sighed contently as she picked up a dango skewer she bit into the topmost dumpling, pulling it off the wooden skewer into her mouth and began chewing it, savoring the taste of the delicious treat. Picking up her sake cup, she drained it of its contents and pulled the next dumpling off, savoring its flavor as well before it too was washed down with a cup of sake.

Preparing to eat another of the dumplings, she stopped as a man dressed in sleeveless pink judogi tied with a black belt, a takuhatsugasa on his head, and a nodachi strapped to his back. He had black hair which hung down to the small of his back and was currently in an intricate braid, and from the half of his face that was visible, he had a scar running from the left edge of his lip down to his jawline.

Anko looked at her new dining partner and sighed, rubbing her forehead as she said "Jinno, take off the hat please. Your 'badass silent warrior' shtick might intimidate some people, but I know you too well for it to work on me. Besides, you're dressed in pink."

"Hey now Anko, it takes a real man ta be able to walk confidently in pink. Part of my 'badass silent warrior shtick', as ya call it. Just like the light chainmail, skirt, and trenchcoat are part of yer 'psycho jounin lady' shtick." Jinno replied, lifting his hat off and setting it on the table, revealing a thin, pointed nose and light gray eyes.

"True." Anko replied, pulling another dumpling from the skewer and chewing it up.

Picking up a skewer of his own and ignoring the indignant cry of 'HEY!' from the purple-haired woman, Jinno bit off one of the dumplings and chewed it, looking to his dining partner as he asked "So Anko, I doubt ya asked me ta have a dango lunch with ya just ta discuss fashion with me."

"No, I asked you to come here while I had a dango lunch. I did not buy these dango to share." Anko replied, almost growling as she pulled the plate of dango closer and placed an arm around it protectively.

"Right... Anyways, what exactly is it ya want ta talk about? Because I don't think ya just want me ta sit here and watch ya eat." Jinno said, biting off the next dumpling as he looked at her for a moment before adding "Then again, knowing you..."

"No Jinno, I didn't ask you to come watch me eat." Anko replied, looking to her plate as she said "What I asked you here for is... a favor."

Jinno smiled and leaned against the table as he said "Ya know I'll do whatever I can to help ya. After all, I do still owe ya my life for that mission near Iwa. So what is it?"

"I need you to help me train someone." Anko replied, and Jinno raised an eyebrow as he asked "Really? Who ya want me ta help torture... er... train?"

"My new boyfriend." Anko stated, to which Jinno looked at her before shaking his head, leaning back as he said "Anko, if they're still needin' people ta hold their hands at twenty..."

"He's not twenty." Anko cut him off, Jinno staring at her as he asked "Then what is he? Twenty-one?"

"Lower."

"Nineteen."

"Lower."

"Eighteen?"

"Still lower."

"Seventeen?"

"No."

"Sixteen?"

"Getting closer."

"Fifteen?"

"Not quite."

"Fourteen?"

"Almost."

"Thirteen?" Jinno asked, and Anko nodded as she said "Right on the mark. Just graduated the Academy yesterday."

"Damn, never took ya for being part of the shotacon kunoichi crowd." Jinno said, Anko shrugging as she said "What can I say? Even I'm not sure how it happened, to be honest."

Shaking his head, Jinno said "Well, which graduate is he? Its not the little Uchiha brat, is it?"

Anko scowled as she said "Hell no. I don't go for the pale, brooding, loner type... Got bitten by that type once."

"I understand. So, which one?" Jinno asked, and Anko sighed as she said "Uzumaki Naruto."

"Ya mean the blonde one with the whiskers and the habit of playing pranks?" Jinno asked, and Anko nodded, not sure what to expect. However, her friend merely laughed and said "I like that one! Reminds me of... well... me, back when I was a genin! Always playing pranks with that Iruka guy! Shichi always gets a laugh out of him too, says the laughs his jokes provide are just the sort of stress relief ANBU needs."

"So you'll help?" Anko asked, and Jinno nodded as he said "Of course, Anko! I'm certain I can get Shichi to help too, maybe even Benkei!"

"Are you sure? They don't care about..." Anko motioned to her stomach, and Jinno sighed and said "Mom and dad were always adamant that we were to trust the Yondaime's sealing ability and to not be taken in by the rampant stupidity surrounding us. We'd helped him if we could, but..."

"Yeah, too many 'mysterious' roadblocks trying to stop him from getting any help." Anko growled, having heard Kurenai complain about being unable to help her adopted 'imouto's' crush due to roadblocks lacking any names on them.

"Right. So, what time is training going to begin?" Jinno asked, and Anko said "5 AM, sharp."

"Gotcha. I'll be that for sure, and my bros if they can make it." Jinno said, and Anko nodded as she replied "OK... And Jinnosuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Anko said. Jinno smiled, placed his takuhatsugasa back on his head as he replied "No problem, Anko. Oh, and thanks for the dango."

Anko blinked, looked down at her plate, and saw several were missing. She snapped her head up only to find him gone. At that, a growl started deep in her chest, rumbling upward until it erupted from her mouth, accompanying a loud cry.

"DAMN YOU JINNOSUKE!!!!"


	4. Morning Routine

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

Anko sat on the roof of an apartment building, a half-eaten stick of dango clenched between her teeth as she stared at the stars twinkling above her as she thought about the blonde who she'd met and made her boyfriend during the course of one conversation. After talking to Jinno, she'd began thinking about the blonde and just how quickly they'd started a 'relationship'. For her, she knew that it was partially because she was an impulsive person, and partially because she empathized with the lonely blonde looking for someone to love.

As for the blonde, she saw him for what he was, a lonely man who'd been hurt, betrayed, and looking for someone who understood him and he could trust. She'd offered him a chance to be understood, to trust, and most importantly for him, to love and be loved, and he'd taken it like a lifeline. And to be honest, it was a lifeline, one he was sorely needing lest he fall into the darkness many others had succumbed to over the years.

Grinning around the wooden stick clenched between her teeth, a small part of her knew that it was because her cute blonde would soon turn into a handsome blonde, much like the bastard who'd donated the spermazoa that'd made him, and she wanted to stake her claim before he made the transformation. Of course, she was going to take this relationship nice and slow, and due to being new to relationships, so would Naruto.

Lifting her arm enough to see the watch on her wrist, Anko noted the time. Quickly devouring the rest of her dango, she tossed the skewer away and casually scaled down the side of the building, stopping by a window. Quietly lifting it up, she slipped into the room and looked to the bed, where her blonde was splayed bonelessly comfortable, dressed in a pair of blue pajamas and a silly-looking walrus sleep cap on his messy blonde hair.

Flashing through a series of handseals, she placed her hand on the ground and whispered "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

In a burst of smoke, a 3-foot long black snake sat curled on the floor, its forked tongue flicking out of its mouth as beady black eyes stared at its summoner. Looking around, the snake asked "What do you need, missssstresssss?"

Smirking, she jabbed a thumb at the bed as she said "See the blonde on the bed? I need you to wake him up... But don't hurt him, OK? Just scare him somewhat, teach him to be more wary of his surroundings, even while asleep."

"Of courssssse." The snake said, and if it could it would have smirked. Slithering across the floor, it easily wound its way up the bed's leg to the matress. Barely containing her laughter, Anko snuck into a dark corner out of his immediate sight to watch the fun.

As it reached the mattress, the snake's tongue flickered out of its mouth, tickling the bottom of Naruto's foot. The blonde groaned and his leg twitched as he murmured "Go 'way, 'Nko-chan..."

Anko put a hand over her mouth as the snake slowly, carefully slithered into his pants leg and began moving up his leg. The blonde groaned and kicked his leg, but the wierd feeling remained, and even kept moving upward to his groin. As the snake slipped under his boxers, Naruto opened his eye and blinked them blearily.

"Wha' tha Hell?" the blonde murmured as he reached down and felt his leg. At the feeling of something long and moving, his eyes widened and he yanked the waistband of his pajamas and boxers, coming eye-to-eye with a snake whose head was resting on his thigh.

This elicited a three-part chain reaction: the first being a loud, terrified scream, the second being the blond vaulting out of his bed, and the third yanking his pants and boxers dislodging the snake and exposing himself to his, as far as he knew, empty apartment.

He immediately realized he wasn't alone when laughter filled the air, and the blonde leapt and spun to see his new girlfriend doubled over in a corner, holding her stomach as tears streamed down her quickly reddening face. "ANKO-CHAN?" Naruto yelped immediately forgetting the snake, and managing to speak through her laughter, Anko asked "I-is that bi-big pah-package fo-for me?"

Naruto blinked and looked down to see himself all but exposed to Anko. Another loud cry filled the air and the blonde dove under his bedsheets, covered up to hide both himself and his blush.

"Wha-what's going on, Anko-chan?" The blonde practically yelled, and Anko, wiping the tears from her eyes and panting slightly answered "Just a second."

Turning to the snake curled in his disgarded clothes that was making what Naruto suspected to be laughter, Anko nodded and said "Thanks."

"No problem. Call me next time you need a wake-up call." the snake replied, and disappeared in a burst of smoke. Finally completely reeling in her laughter, Anko turned to the lump under Naruto's sheets and said "Get dressed for training, Naruto."

"Training?" Naruto asked, and Anko nodded with a smirk as she said "Yep. Me and a couple of guys who owe me favors are gonna start you on the path from class 'dobe' to S-ranked threat."

Anko's smirk died on her face as she saw the look Naruto had on his face as he pulled the sheets down to his waist. He looked rather downtrodden, as if he were getting ready to walk to the gallows, not train to be a S-ranked threat.

"What is it, Naruto?" Anko asked, and Naruto sighed, looking at his hands resting in his laps as he replied "... I'm not sure I want to be a shinobi anymore."

She looked at him but didn't question him why, because she already knew the answer, and to be perfectly honest, she couldn't really fault him after hearing the story from both him and Iruka. Sitting on the bed, she sighed and said "Well, I can understand that Naruto. Because after what I've heard, I wouldn't want to serve under the person who did that to me either. Unfortunately, if you do that, then we can't be a couple anymore."

"What? Why?"

"Because then you would no longer be a shinobi, and thus no longer an adult. And the two of us dating really would be a crime, one which Sarutobi would most likely use to keep you from quitting the shinobi ranks. Because if he's already done everything you said to ensure your being a shinobi, I doubt he'll just let you walk away now."

"Oh." Naruto said, looking to his lap before asking "I guess I can't find my mom then, huh?"

"Ah, I see. You want to leave the village with no strings attached so you can hunt down Kushina and spend time with the mother that you've never had, right?" Anko asked, and got a nod from the blonde with a sigh as he replied "No chance of that now."

Looking at him, Anko frowned and flicked the blonde on the head. This got an indignant squawk from him, and Anko smiled, ruffling the blonde locks as she said "Don't worry about it, Naruto. You leave finding Kushina to me, while you work on becoming as strong a shinobi as you can."

"Really?" Naruto asked, guarded hope in his eyes. Anko merely smiled as she said "Of course. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't help you with something this important to you?"

"A sucky one, I think." Naruto said, Anko nodding as she said "I agree. Now, get ready for training. We don't have much time to meet up with my associates."

Naruto nodded, then frowned as he asked "Aren't you going to leave the room?"

"I was planning on watching, to be honest." Anko replied with a rather lecherous smirk, getting a dark blush from Naruto as he said "Anko-chan..."

"What? I didn't get to see enough of you earlier, particularly that cute ass of yours." Anko said, wiggling her eyebrows, which only caused Naruto to blush darker as he repeated "Anko-chan."

"Awww, come on. Let me watch a little. Maybe get a bit of a show out of it too?" Anko asked, and Naruto's face turned a shade that would make Hinata proud as he said "Anko-chan, please."

Anko, deciding that she'd teased him enough, sighed wistfully as she stood from the bed with a stretch and said "Alright, alright, I'm going. But I will get that show sometime, mark my words."

"Not today." Naruto muttered, watching Anko walk out into his apartment's living room... Or more precisely, watching her backside as she purposefully swayed her hips while walking into his living room. And Anko knew the blonde was watching, enjoying the feel of being able to keep the blonde's attention so easily.

_'Hehehe, thank you male hormones.'_ Anko thought with a smirk.

Naruto, dressed in his perferred orange jumpsuit with his hitai-ate tied around his head, exited his bedroom to find Anko crouched in front of one of his kitchenette cabinets which was wide open, allowing her the chance to easily rummage through it. An invitation she gladly took, indicated by several items laying on his kitchenette floor that had previously been inside the invaded cabinet.

"What do you think doing going through my stuff!" Naruto cried, and without turning around or even stopping, Anko replied "I got bored and decided to see what you've got in this place to eat. And so far, all I've found is cereal, ramen, and a carton of expired milk that I got rid of before it could gain sentience and attack you."

"Hey! The milk wasn't... that expired." Naruto argued, and Anko scoffed as she said "It was starting to solidify... and I think it blinked once or twice. I did you a favor by getting rid of it. And after training, I'm going to do you another favor and take you out to by some healthier food than ramen."

"What's wrong with ramen?" Naruto asked defensively, and Anko replied "Nothing's wrong with it, but you really do need to eat something besides instant ramen and cereal. I may eat dango once a day for lunch or as an after-mission celebration meal, but I also balance that out with healthier foods too. You need the nutritious shit to make sure you stay healthy... At least, that's what the medic nin always say. And they tend to be right about these things, reason why I don't live off dango."

Naruto nodded, he couldn't really fault the logic. Sighing as she cleaned up the mess her searching made, she stood to her feet and stretched her back, turning to the blonde and saying "Come on, time to get to training."

Naruto nodded, following her out of his apartment window and to the rooftops, heading toward the training grounds. As they leapt, Naruto couldn't help but shudder slightly at the rather... dark laugh from Anko, which was accentuated by the evil gleam in her eyes.

Jinnosuke, dressed in a pink t-shirt and black shorts, sighed as he stood next to a slightly shorter man in one of Konoha's training fields, staring at the sky. The shorter had a thick scar ran from the corner of his left eye to his ear, with a second running diagonally from his chin, across his mouth, and to the left side of his nose, the scars effectively marring his face, with short black hair and light gray eyes, and was currently dressed in a gray t-shirt and a pair of forest green shorts.

"So, tell me why I agreed to get up so early on one of my rare days off Jinno-niisan?" the shorter asked, and Jinno replied "Because ya love me, Shichigoro-doho?"

"... Yeah, but not enough to get up this early when I can be sleeping in. Try again." Shichigoro said.

"Because ya want ta help me cultivate tha next generation of shinobi?" Jinno tried.

Shichigoro merely shook his head and said "No."

"Because ya saw an opportunity ta 'torment' a fresh genin like yer sensei did ta you, as well as a prime opportunity ta good-naturedly tease and aggravate Anko and Naruto ta tha point of incoherent angry yelling." Jinno said, and Shichigoro smiled and nodded as he said "That's the one."

"Ya do realize that both Anko and Naruto can and will retaliate when ya do so, right?" Jinno asked, and Shichigoro shrugged and replied "That's what makes doing so fun. Maybe if I play my cards right, then I can get a nice long rivalry out of this."

"... You're a strange, strange man." Jinno muttered, to which Shichigoro smirked and stated "All shinobi are strange, Jinno, you know that. It's just a question exactly how strange you are."

"That's true. Just be careful ya don't bite off more than ya can chew, Shichigoro."

"Yeah yeah..."

The two fell into silence, which lasted for a few moments before Shichigoro asked "Hey, wasn't Benkei going to help?"

"He is, he just had ta get his 'training kit' ready. He'll be here soon." Jinno answered, and Shichigoro shuddered as he said "And you said that I'm gonna torture the genin. At least I'm not bringing a 'training kit', especially Benkei's."

"Oh, it isn't that bad." Jinno argued, and Shichigoro raised an eyebrow as he asked "Remember when we lost that bet and he got to use it on us for a month?"

This caused the elder brother to pale considerably as an involuntary shudder tore through him and he muttered "I forgot about that."

"Forgot about it? More like you 'repressed' it, Kami knows I've tried more than once. Just be glad for one thing." Shichigoro said, and Jinno asked "What's that?"

"It's not us this time." Shichigoro answered, and this got a nod as Jinno said "That's true."

A companionable silence fell over them again for a few minutes before a smile crossed Shichigoro's face as he said "They're closing in."

Jinnosuke nodded and watched as, moments later, the pair landed across from them, Anko smirking and Naruto giving his new senseis a calculating glance. Nodding to the pair, Jinnosuke looked to Naruto and asked "So Uzumaki-san, first things first: Why exactly do you want to be a shinobi?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, but stopped and closed it again, looking as if he were deep in thought. After several long moments, he finally sighed and answered "I don't know anymore."

"Really? Cause if I remember correctly, you were quite adamant about becoming Hokage, telling your dream to anyone around you, whether they were willing to listen or not. What happened to that?" Shichigoro asked, and Naruto shrugged and replied "I've learned things that've made me question that dream, and whether or not I wanna even be a shinobi anymore. But Anko-chan helped me realize they wouldn't let me not be a shinobi, so I don't have a choice."

The brothers shared a look before turning to Anko, who managed to tell more through a look than most lower-ranked ninja could with a monologue. Nodding, Jinnosuke sighed and said "Well, I guess we'll just have to help you find an answer to that question then, won't we Naruto."

Naruto gave the two a guarded look before smiling warily and nodding. Smiling back, Shichigoro said "Alright then, drop and give me twenty... no, give me fifty push-ups!"

"Hai sensei."

I apologize for taking so long, and I promise to post the next chapter for both Renegades and Darker than the Ocean's Depths... eventually.


	5. Meeting the Teachers

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

* * *

Anko, Shichigoro, and Jinnosuke stood watching the sweating, orange-clad blonde run laps around the training field. For the pasthour, they'd had him doing exercises, testing his endurance through physical labor. They were currently having him run laps, and it appeared they were beginning to chip away at his seemingly unstoppable stamina after an hour of constant exercise. As he passed by them, Shichigoro raised a hand and said "that's enough Naruto, come and have a seat, rest for a minute. We need to talk about your training schedule anyways."

Naruto nodded and sat down before the three, legs crossed before him as he looked to the three. The three took their place sitting before him, and Jinnosuke said "Alright Naruto, time to outline the basics of your training before we get to the specifics. First off is your stamina and endurance, which is not something that you need to worry about Naruto, especially for a Genin, but we'll need to make sure you keep it up and even improve it if you want to become a Chuunin or a Jounin. We'll work on your taijutsu..." Seeing Naruto's scowl, Jinnosuke added "Don't look at me like that, all Genin need to work on and improve their taijutsu. Noone ever became a Jounin with Genin-level taijutsu."

"Technically Kurenai did." Anko spoke up, and Shichigoro nodded as he said "Yes, but that's because she specialized in genjutsu to an insane degree and is pretty much a master of it. But I have a feeling that Naruto, due to certain... problems, lacks the chakra control to ever become a master of genjutsu."

"Few ever do specialize, or even meet the requirements to become such a master of any skill. Like, for example, the Yondaime and his sensei Jiraiya in regards to seals." Jinnosuke added. He and Shichigoro both noticed the darkening of Naruto's face at hearing of the Yondaime and Jiraiya, causing both to look to Anko for answers. She subtly shook her head, and both gave a single nod before turning their attention back to Naruto.

"As for your taijutsu, I'll talk to my teammate Gai in regards to unarmed combat. As for weapon-based taijutsu, I'd say... a katana?" Shichigoro asked, looking to Jinnosuke and Anko.

Studying the blonde, Jinnosuke shook his head and said "No, that won't work... Maybe a staff-type weapon, like say a bo or a monk's spade?"

"Nah, he's too short." Anko countered, which recieved an indignant yell from the blonde, which the trio ignored as Anko continued "What about twin daggers?"

"Maybe, but I would suggest a straight sword, maybe a Chinese bastard sword, or something similar in style to the Kusanagi no Tsurugi." Shichigoro suggested, getting a rather dark look from Anko at the mention of the Kusanagi, which Shichigoro at least managed to look sheepish about mentioning.

"We'll decide later, after we figure out his taijutsu style so the weapon'll complement it." Jinnosuke concluded, recieving a nod from the other two, Naruto, getting excited about this, looked to the three eagerly as he asked "What about ninjutsu?"

"Ninjutsu? That's the easy one. We go with the chakra-intensive ones, considering you seem to have an overabundence of it." Shichigoro answered, getting a loud whoop of victory from the blonde.

"Hey, I thought you weren't sure you even wanted to be a shinobi anymore, much less get this excited about training." Anko said with a raised eyebrow, and Naruto blinked before a blush darkened his face as he looked away and he said "I don't know... I guess all this talk... I don't know..."

"You're remembering the former excitement you had when you first became a student at the Academy, the possibility of learning all kinds of spectacular ninjutsu and being a hero to the village." Jinnosuke suggested, and this got a nod from Naruto as he said "Yeah, that!"

"Anyways, before we get to ninjutsu, we'll need to spar with you so as to get a proper gauge on your taijutsu level." Shichigoro said, and Naruto grinned as he said "Really?"

Looking to Anko, he smirked and said "You'll get to watch me spar with them and show my awesomeness to you directly." Naruto said with a smirk, which fell as Anko sighed and said "Sorry, but unfortunately I have something to take care of in town so I won't be able to watch you kick Jinno and Shichi's asses."

"What?" Naruto asked, and Anko cut her eyes to Jinnosuke and Shichigoro before replying "I have to go and look up information on... _her_." Seeing the confused look on Naruto's face, Anko sighed again and added "The woman we talked about last night."

"Oh... Oh." Naruto said, giving a nod to her as Shichigoro and Jinnosuke looked between the two, then at each other before Shichigoro looked to his brother and asked "OK... What in the Hell are they talking about?"

"I honestly have no idea. And I believe that may be the point." Jinnosuke replied.

"Aaah... Welp, either way, we better spar before Benkei shows up with his torture equipment... I mean, 'training kit' and puts Naruto through it." Shichigoro said, standing up and dusting off the back of his pants.

"Torture equipment?" Naruto asked nervously, and Jinnosuke waved the question off as he said "Don't worry about it Naruto, me and Shichigoro went through it and came out alive."

"True... But we were both Jounin at the time, and not fresh-faced Genin like poor Naruto." Shichigoro countered, and Jinnosuke said "Oh yeah... But I doubt Benkei is going to go full-bore on Naruto so soon already... At least, I hope not. I doubt Anko will like her new boytoy getting killed during training already."

"Oh you bet." Anko said with a smirk as she stood up and stretched. Strolling over to the stunned blonde, she bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek as she said "Good luck Naruto. I'll see you later, OK?"

"Uh-huh." Naruto muttered, and Anko sighed as she said "Yeah." Looking to Shichigoro and Jinnosuke, she glared and said "But seriously. He dies, you two die, understand?"

"Understood." Shichigoro said, and Jinnosuke "Good luck with whatever it is you and Naruto are talking about, Anko."

"Of course." Anko said before leaping away into the trees. Shichigoro and Jinnosuke watched her leave before turning back to Naruto and Shichigoro slipped into a fighting stance, smirking as he said "Alright Naruto, time for you to start 'kicking my ass'." Naruto blinked, then turned to Shichigoro with a smile and, adjusting the hitai-ate given to him by Iruka, said "Alright sensei. Time to get schooled."

Naruto launched himself at Shichigoro and threw a series of punches and kicks, all of which were blocked or dodged casually by Shichigoro. Naruto frowned as he swung a low kick to trip Shichigoro, who leapt over it and brought a kick down at Naruto's head, forcing the blonde to roll backwards out of the way. Shichigoro smirked as he slipped into his stance again and asked "Is that the best you've got Naruto? I thought you were going to 'school' me. So far all I haven't learned anything."

A growl rumbled in Naruto's chest before he leapt at the ANBU with a spinning kick, who easily grabbed it and continued the momentum while adding a little of his own, sending the blonde flying toward a nearby tree. Naruto yelped as he flew toward the tree, but quickly corrected himself and landed feet-first against the tree, knees bending as he connected to it. Pushing off the tree, he launched himself back at Shichigoro, throwing a strong punch at his head. The ANBU ducked under the flying orange blur, who hit the ground with a roll and ended in a crouch.

From this position Naruto launched himself at Shichigoro again and swung a kick at the man's head, which was easily dodged, and Shichigoro grabbed the leg and tossed Naruto away again. Naruto rolled across the ground and rose back up on all fours and leapt at Shichigoro again, swinging a punch at Shichigoro, who caught the blow. But before Shichigoro could throw him away, Naruto swung his other fist at Shichigoro's stomach, only for it to be caught again. As soon as Shichigoro's hand grabbed his, Naruto's foot swung up, aiming for Shichigoro's groin. Shichigoro brought his knee up and used it to stop Naruto's leg at the shin and spun, throwing the blonde away again.

Landing in a crouch, Naruto stood, glaring at Shichigoro as the man shook his head and said "Sloppy, Naruto, very sloppy. You practically tell me what you're about to do and you waste far too much movement when it comes to your attacks, to say nothing of the fact you're far too slow when it comes to your attacks."

Shichigoro smirked as he continued "However, your attacks can be very unpredictable and you seem to accel at either planning ahead of time, or changing your attack after each move. Very impressive for a Gegin, especially for the "dead last" of the class."

"Really?" Naruto asked, and Shichigoro said "I'm not one for giving out compliments lightly... Taunts, jokes, and general annoyances? Yes. Compliments? No."

"He's right. And I should know. I grew up with'em." Jinnosuke said, getting a slight glare from Shichigoro as Naruto snickered.

All three turned as a thump sounded, and saw a large bear of a man dressed in a black shirt and slacks, a naginata strapped to his back. He had a hitai-ate bandana tied over his head, and his face was a seeming patchwork of scars and burns, the left side of his face quite severely burned. Naruto's eyes widened as he cried out "DEMON!"

* * *

Anko landed from the rooftops in front of the public information office, staring up at the tall building. Giving a grunt of annoyance, she muttered "You better be damn grateful for what I'm about to do for you Naruto." Walking up to the door, she pushed it open and walked in, taking in the rather plain front room with a single desk at the far wall, manned by a woman with short black hair with a hitai-ate and thick-lensed glasses, and was currently reading what appeared to be a trashy romance novel. Walking up to the desk, Anko stared at the woman engrossed in her book, taking a better look at the woman. She, much like the room, was rather plain in appearance, dressed in a short-sleeved shirt with the symbol of the Information nin on the right breast of her shirt.

Anko cleared her throat to get the woman's attention, and smirked as she watched the woman nearly jump out of her seat, her book almost flying out of her hands. The startled woman placed a hand over her heart, panting as her glasses slid down her nose. Looking over them at Anko, she reached up and pushed them back into place, a rather confused look on her face.

"Hi! My name's Henko, what can I do for you?" the woman asked, setting her book aside as Anko leaned against the desk and said "Yeah, I was looking for some information."

"What kind of information?" Henko asked, and Anko replied "I'm looking for information on an Uzumaki."

"Really? That'll be easy!" Henko stated, causing Anko's eyebrow to rise as she curiously asked "Why exactly is that 'easy'?"

"Because there have been only three known Uzumaki to actually live in Konoha. Uzumaki Mito, Uzumaki Kushina, and Uzumaki Naruto. Which one are you requiring information on?" Henko asked, and Anko purposefully looked nonchalant as she replied "Uzumaki Kushina."

"Aah, OK. I'll only be a minute then." Henko said, standing from her chair and disappearing into the door in the wall behind her. Watching the woman leave, Anko sighed and began drumming her fingers on the desk as she took another look around the room again. It proved even more plain than her first look around, with only paintings of the Four Hokages and a wall scroll or two to liven up the drab. Her eyes took in the wall scrolls before turning to the Yondaime, a scowl grossing her face as she stared into the smiling, happy face of the man.

'_If I could get my hands on you, you son of a bitch._' Anko thought, tempted to put a kunai right between the painting's eyes. However, her attention was returned to the desk as she heard the door opening, expecting to see Henko returning with the folder she requested. Instead, she found herself watching as, instead of the plain little woman who enjoyed trashy romance novels exit the door, it was the elderly form of the Hoage's advisor, leaning on her cane as she took in the room before her.

"What exactly brings you here, Koharu-sama?" Anko asked, nervousness swelling in her chest.

"Why, as the head of the public information department, I was curious as to who would be looking up Uzumaki Kushina and more importantly, why. Though to be honest, I was expecting someone else instead of you, Mitarashi-chan." Koharu replied casually, Anko raising an eyebrow as she asked "Really now? And why is that?"

"Because after certain events the other day, I was expecting someone in particular to come looking for information on Kushina. And to be perfectly honest, you weren't the 'someone in particular' I was looking for." Koharu answered, and Anko stiffened slightly as she asked "Just who is this 'someone in particular' you were expecting, and what are you planning to do with them?"

Koharu stared at Anko for several long seconds before she replied "I believe we must take this conversation up to my office, Mitarashi-chan." Without waiting for a reply, Koharu turned back to the door she'd exited, and Anko equally as wordlessly leapt over the desk and followed behind the elder shinobi through the doorway, wondering exactly what was about to happen.

* * *

Naruto was caught between running and fighting, only to have a hand smack into the back of his head as Shichigoro said "Naruto, he's not a demon! That's just our brother Benkei."

"That's your... brother?" Naruto asked, and Jinnosuke said "Yes Naruto, that's our brother Benkei. His appearance is just the result of a life as a shinobi. Not everyone gets away with their good looks."

"Oh..." Naruto said, suddenly feeling quite horrible. He'd been called a demon all of his life, and he'd just done the same to their brother. Who knows how many times the man had heard that, and all because he was a shinobi of Konoha. Bowing low to the man, Naruto muttered "Gomen nasai, Benkei-san."

"Oh, it's no problem Naruto-chan." Benkei said with a smile, then sneered, his face growing dark as he said "I'll just have to kill you for payment."

Naruto cried out in fear and leapt back, staring at the sneering man in front of him, who began snickering, the giggling, and finally laughing. Shichigoro and Jinnosuke joined him in laughing, and after several moments Naruto growled and said "That's not funny guys!"

"Yeah it is Naruto! It's funny every single time he does it to someone who calls him a 'demon'!" Jinnosuke said through his laughter, Naruto doing something that greatly resembled a pout,

"Awww, cheer up Naruto! You're not the first person we've done that joke to, and you won't be the last." Benkei said, ruffling the blonde's hair with one of his big hands. Naruto glared at him momentarily, then asked "So... What exactly is this 'torture equipment' they were talking about?"

"Oh don't listen to them, they're just big babies." Benkei said with a sigh, before smiling as he said "Let me show you the equipment." Taking several steps back, he grabbed a scroll from his belt, opened it, nicked his thumb, and dragged it across the paper. In a burst of smoke, what looked to be a large turtle shell with straps appeared. It hung in the air for a moment before hitting the ground, resulting in a great burst of dust. Coughing and waving the dust away, Naruto could only stare in shock at the crater the object was currently residing in, then turned to the proudly smiling Benkei.

"It's only about 50 pounds. Wait until we get to the leg weights with it!" Benkei said proudly, seemingly oblivious to Naruto's shock and slowly growing horror.

"Good luck Naruto." Jinnosuke said.

"You're gonna need it." Shichigoro added.


	6. Too heavy! and poor Kurenai

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

* * *

"You people are trying to kill me!" Naruto cried, staring in horror at the heavy turtle shell laying in front of him innocently, almost mockingly.

"Oh don't be such a baby, Naruto! It's not that heavy!" Benkei said with a wide smile, which somehow made his scarred and burn-marked face even more intimidating the the evil sneer did. Reaching down, he grabbed it by one of the straps and lifted it up easily, raising and lowering it a few times testingly before saying "See!"

"Of course, most people aren't as large and strong as Benkei is... Or should I say you aren't as large and strong as Benkei is." Shichigoro told Naruto, patting the blonde condescendingly on the shoulder. Naruto turned a heated glare on the ANBU operative, knowing that it was an obvious attempt to get a rise out of him, but... Dammit! It was working!

"Give me the damn thing!" Naruto growled out, stomping over to Benkei, who smiled and turned the shell by the sides, offering the straps to Naruto to put on. Watching the blonde slide the straps on, Jinnosuke leaned over to Shichigoro and muttered "That was a cruel and sneaky thing to do to Naruto, using his pride like that."

Shichigoro merely shrugged and said "What can I say? It's rule one of any encounter, use the person's weaknesses against them."

"True, but it was still a cruel thing to do." Jinnosuke said, watching as Naruto finally adjusted the straps on himself comfortably.

"Ready for me to let go, Naruto?" Benkei asked, and Naruto gave a definitive nod of his head, bracing himself as Benkei slowly released the heavy shell and took a few steps back. They all watched as stood there, the large shell strapped to his back...

For all of two seconds before the weight pulled him backwards and he fell onto his back, laying on top of the weight he was strapped to. The blonde grunted and growled, trying to force himself to first stand up, then roll over onto his stomach, limbs flailing as he failed at both.

"You know, the same thing happened to us the first time we tried wearing the turtle shells... Course ours were both... what? 300 lbs?" Jinnosuke asked, Shichigoro shaking his head as he said "No, I believe they were 400, maybe 450."

"They were 275 you wimps." Benkei said, Jinnosuke raising an eyebrow as he asked "Really? I could've sworn they were heavier than that."

"Nope. Had'em officially weighed and both were 275 and not an ounce over." Benkei said, Shichigoro shaking his head as he said "I don't believe it."

"Course you don't, cause you don't want to admit you and Jinno are both huge wimps." Benkei replied, then raised an eyebrow of his own as Naruto began vehemently cursing from his place on the ground. "I did not know that he had such a... colorful vocabulary."

"Colorful nothing. His vocabulary is downright vulgar." Jinnosuke said, Shichigoro snickering as he asked "Do you kiss Anko with that mouth?" That only succeeded in increasing the volume and offensiveness of Naruto's tirade, causing Shichigoro to break down laughing. Sighing, Benkei looked to Shichigoro disapprovingly as he said "Shichigoro, please don't antagonize Naruto. Last thing we need is for him to become even more vulgar than he already is."

"But it amuses me." Shichigoro managed to say through his laughter, getting a sigh from Jinnosuke and Benkei.

"You know, we could get a shell for you, Shichigoro." Jinnosuke said, Shichigoro giving him a horrified look, which only intensified as Benkei added "Yeah, maybe have it be much heavier to compensate for your own increased growth since the last time you used it."

"You guys suck, you know that?"

* * *

Anko sat across from Koharu with the woman's desk between them, fighting down the urge to squirm like a genin in trouble with her sensei. The woman she was face-to-face with was not only an old woman, but an old shinobi. And as she explained to Naruto, for every old shinobi there was hundreds, if not thousands of dead shinobi who failed to make it to this age. And currently the old shinobi was studying her carefully, much like a hunter did with their helpless prey, deciding how best to take out their victim.

Finally, the woman cleared her throat and asked "So Mitarashi-chan, care to tell me why Uzumaki Naruto is so important for you?"

"What does Naruto have to do with anything?" Anko asked neutrally, and Koharu merely sighed and said "Anko, please don't try to play me for the fool. I've lived much longer than you have, and all it will succeed in doing is making me feel insulted that you believe it's easy to pull one over on me. Besides, the only person in this village who could have an interest in one Uzumaki Kushina is Naruto due to the fact the adults of Konoha already know her when she was still living here. Now, why is Uzumaki Naruto so important to you?"

"If you must know, he's my boyfriend." Anko replied, already expecting the insults and accusations to be leveled against her and possibly Naruto. However, she was stunned when the old woman merely smiled and said "Really now? Well, good for you and him both. It might do you both some good to have someone special to you."

"What?" Anko asked, and Koharu replied "Anko, when I was growing up, it was still common for shinobi men and women to start dating and reproducing to replace members due to deaths from battles and fueds between two clans. To say nothing of arranged marriages between clans to foster alliances so as to ensure you have aide should something happen. Don't forget, villages were still a new and uncertain thing, and the clans felt more comfortable with clan alliances than all clans working for the betterment of the village and each other without such things."

"Ah, so you..." Anko began, but Koharu shook her head as she said "No, not me. But my mother married a man 8 years her senior, and my sister was married to a man 7 years her junior. Of course, as trust in the village and each other grew, the need for such things decreased. To say nothing of how the civilians found it a rather... uncomfortable thing, and we found it easy to just drop the practice due to the lack of necessity."

Leaning back, Koharu asked "Now, how much do you know about Kushina?"

Anko briefly considered lying, but realized it'd most likely prove a futile gesture, so gave a sigh and said "Well, the other night I was leaving the dango stand when Naruto nearly bumped into me. We had a talk, and I managed to convince him to tell me his troubles, and he told me everything he knew." She quickly added onto it "He didn't know it was an s-classed secret at the time, so you can't..."

Koharu lifted a hand and said "Don't worry, Anko! I won't tell Sarutobi that Naruto told it to you, so don't worry. Besides, I've always disagreed with Sarutobi in regards to this insane plan of his and Minato's, and now he's trying to run damage control now that its been found out by Naruto. Doesn't want the blonde to go around destroying Minato's reputation, most likely."

"Thank you." Anko said, and Koharu replied "I'm not doing this for you."

"I know, your doing this for Naruto. Because if it was found out he told me, things would get bad for Naruto, and the last thing he needs now is for anything else to go horrible. And that's exactly why I'm thanking you." Anko countered.

Koharu blinked, then smiled and said "I'm glad you understand. Now, you were looking for files on Kushina?"

"Yes. Hopefully something telling her last known wereabouts, because I doubt Sarutobi and Jiraiya would just let her wander around unchecked." Anko said, to which Koharu sighed and said "Unfortunately, that kind of information would most likely be in the most secure room of the Hokage tower, with access given only to the reigning Hokage."

"Dammit." Anko growled, but Koharu smiled and said "However, I do believe I might have a way around that little obstacle."

"What?"

Koharu opened her desk and retrieved a scroll, which she placed onto the table before Anko. Anko blinked and asked "What exactly is this?"

"That's a scroll." Koharu replied with a smirk, causing Anko to scowl and say "You know what I mean."

"It's a summoning scroll. It belongs to my personal summon, a bloodhound named Sharokku. He's one of the best trackers in the elemental nations, just give him a scent or chakra signature, and he can and will find his target. Just write a message to Kushina and have him take it to her." Koharu replied, causing Anko to ask "But where will I find a scent or chakra signature?"

Koharu retrieved a second scroll and set it on the desk and said "Here's a few pieces of Kushina's clothing. The storage seal has ensured that the chakra residue and her scent are still fresh enough to be used to track her down."

"Why exactly do you have this?" Anko asked, and Koharu sighed and replied "Because I'd contemplated doing it myself since this entire mess began, but I was always too scared to actually go through with it myself. But after hearing everything, I'd planned on waiting for Naruto to show up searching for information on Kushina and suggest it to him. But you work too."

"Gee, thanks for making me feel so special." Anko grumbled, causing the old woman to smirk and say "You're welcome."

Anko stood to leave, but stopped, turned to Koharu, gave a low bow and said "Thank you, Koharu-sama."

The old woman merely waved it off and said "Think nothing of it. I consider that blonde brat a sort of grandson, and I feel that I've failed him for most of his life. I'd like to consider this a start to making up to my constant failures."

Anko nodded with a smile, and as she walked toward the door, Koharu added "By the way, I'd suggest having Sharokku start with Whirlpool country, Eddygakure in particular. It was her hometown and the most likely place for her to return to."

* * *

"OK, this has gone from hilarious to just sad." Shichigoro said, watching the blonde on the ground weakly still struggling to stand, or at least roll over onto his stomach silently, having long since lost the strength to scream and curse. Sighing, Benkei walked over and grabbed the shell, picking it and Naruto up and placing the blonde back on his feet, letting go after a few seconds.

Naruto began stumbling backwards and nearly falling again, arms flailing. However, he managed to brace himself and stopped from hitting the ground, standing in place and trying to get used to the heavy weight as quickly as possible.

Smiling, Jinnosuke said "Good job Naruto! Now its time to start exercising!"

"Ex-exercising? Already" Naruto asked in horror, and all three nodded as Benkei said "Nothing too strenuous to begin with. Just something to help you learn to adjust to the weight on your back. THEN we'll begin with the strenuous stuff once you can handle that!"

"O-OK." Naruto said, and Shichirogo smiled and said "Let's begin with a nice, leisurely jog, shall we?"

Naruto gave a relieved sigh and said "OK! That sounds fun!"

"Oh. it is fun, for the first mile or so." Shichigoro said, and the turned, jogging in place as he said "Now let's get going!" Naruto merely sighed as he followed after Shichigoro, Jinnosuke, and Benkei, wondering when the awesome taijutsu and ninjutsu training would begin.

* * *

Anko sat at a table in her favorite dango stand with the summoning scroll, the scroll containing Kushina's clothing, a piece of paper, and a pen laid out before her, a plate of dango skewers sitting seemingly forgotten nearby, a ceramic container of sake and drinking cup with it. Sighing, Anko reached down, grabbed the container and cup before turning the container up and taking several drinks of the strong alcohol. Shuddering as the strong elixer washed down her throat, Anko sighed as she set it aside and returned to staring at the various items before her.

"Anko, isn't it a bit early for you to be drinking so heavily?"

Anko turned toward the source of the voice and gave a half-hearted smirk as she saw her friend Kurenai walk into the stand. Watching the red-eyed woman sit across from her, she replied "Oh, I just find it easier to think after having a few jugs of sake. Especially when it comes to things like this."

"I take it your current drinking binge involves this stuff set out in front of you?" Kurenai asked as she took them in, and Anko nodded as she said "Yep, its a real conundrum, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Want to talk about it?" Kurenai asked, and Anko shrugged as she replied "Not sure if you can help, all things considered."

"What exactly is being considered here, Anko?" Kurenai asked, more curious than she would have liked to admit. Anko sighed, taking another swig of the sake before replying "Considering the fact that much of it is considered a very important secret for the village, at least according to Sarutobi."

"Oh, those are indeed things to be considered, aren't they?" Kurenai replied, and Anko sighed as she said "Yeah, they are."

"Can you at least tell me who this regards?" Kurenai asked, and Anko answered "Newly minted Genin Uzumaki Naruto."

"And why exactly are you worried about Naruto? You've never been concerned about him before, so what's changed?" Kurenai asked, and Anko gave a small smirk as she replied "That was before he became my very own shota boyfriend."

"Shota boyfriend? You mean you're dating him?" Kurenai asked, and Anko nodded as she stated "Yeah."

"Isn't he... I don't know... a bit young for you Anko?"

"Eh, in our line of work, age is meaningless, you know that as well as I do." Anko said. Kurenai nodded as she said "Yeah, I guess, but still. He's only 13, the civilians are going to look at you funny for it anyways."

"Pffft, they already look at me funny, Nai-chan. The only difference is that now they're doing it because I've got me a younger man and not because I had the surpreme misfortune of being The Bastard's student." Anko grumbled, her formerly good mood souring. Sighing, Kurenai nodded as she said "That's true, but still, you don't need to be bringing these things on yourself Anko."

"Yeah yeah, I already tried that Kurenai. Didn't work." Anko muttered, sighing as she said "Besides, that kid needs me at a time like this."

"And you need him." Kurenai added, Anko glaring at Kurenai as she said "I don't need him."

"Of course not. You don't need someone who understands your point of view and will care for, maybe even love you, regardless of your past." Kurenai explained, Anko raising an eyebrow as she asked "So you actually condone it?"

Kurenai's lips thinned as she said "I didn't say that. I understand your reasons, but I won't say I condone it."

"Awww, come on Nai-chan. You know you want to have a cute little shotacon boyfriend too, and me having Naruto is making you jealous." Anko said with a grin, Kurenai frowning as she replied "I am not jealous of your relationship Anko."

"Yes you are, Kurenai-chan, I can see it in your eyes." Anko said, a smirk crossing her face as she added with a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows "And if you play your cards right, I might be willing to share Naruto with you."

"ANKO!"


	7. Many Important Discussions

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

A/N: New poll for Consequences of a Lie on my profile regarding members of Naruto's harem, or even if he should have one at all! Go and vote, vote like if you don't, I won't update! (I will update either way, just vote like it matters on whether or not I'll update).

* * *

It was well past nightfall when a dirty, sweaty Naruto dragged himself up the stares to his apartment. His back ached, his shoulders hurt, his legs throbbed, and his head pounded like an Akimichi was using his skull as a practice dummy. Each step he took was like his legs were being stabbed with rusty kunai, and he was seriously considering just laying on the stairs and sleeping there. But he pressed on, and finally he persevered, making it to his door. Getting his housekey from his pocket, he managed to unlock the door and pushed it open, which caused a heavenly scent to rush out and slam into him, assaulting his nose with its delicious aroma.

Drooling, he entered into his apartment and shuffled towards the kitchen, blinking in surprise at the sight of Anko standing in front of the stove, cooking with several of his pots and pans.

"An-Anko-chan, what are you doing?" Naruto asked, and she replied without turning to look at him "Making you dinner."

"Why?" Naruto asked, and turning Anko smiled and said "Because I wanted to, Naruto."

"Oh." he muttered, and Anko sighed as she asked "You're not exactly used to having someone do something for you just because they wanted to, are you?"

"No." Naruto replied sheepishly with a blush, and Anko grinned as she said "Well, don't worry about it Naruto, cause I'm going to be doing plenty of things for you 'just because I want to' from now on. And you're going to do the same for me too, right?"

"You bet! I'll be doing all kinds of things for you!" was his reply, which he put as much of his remaining energy as he could spare into, and Anko turned back to the cooking food, a pleasant jolt rolling up her spine at the heartfelt and energetic answer Naruto gave her. Much like the blonde, someone doing things for her because they want to was a rarity, and hearing the blond's earnest declaration to do so for her was a unique and welcome experience for her.

"So, did you have fun with your new senseis?" Anko asked, and Naruto froze, a shudder sliding through him as he murmured "They're monsters!"

"Awww, it couldn't be that bad, can it Naru-kun?" Anko questioned, and the blonde fell into a chair at his table as he groaned "They made me do push-ups, chin-ups, jog laps, and even walk in a river against the current all day! And then they measured my fingers, my hands, my arms, my body, around my head, my legs, my feet, and even my toes!"

Anko scoffed and asked "What are they doing in that academy if something so easy makes you think the Miyamoto brothers are ''monsters?"

"I was wearing a 50 lb turtle shell on my back the entire training time!" Naruto replied, and Anko nodded as she said "Well, that certainly may qualify them for 'monster sensei' status from a fresh Genin. Did they at least save you from the current when it got to be too much for you?"

"Yeah." Naruto admitted, and Anko said "That knocks points off their monster sensei status. A real monster sensei would've made you save yourself or drown."

Naruto paled at the thought as Anko began dolling out the food onto two plates, and carried them over to the table. Placing one in front of Naruto, she set the other down and took a seat, beginning to eat as Naruto only stared at the food.

"What is this?" Naruto asked, and Anko replied "That's dinner, now eat up."

"I know that! But what is it made of?" Naruto questioned, and Anko sighed as she answered "It's steamed rice, mixed vegetables, and beef in a light sauce."

"Oh... Is it good?" Naruto asked, and Anko rolled her eyes as she said "Yes, its good, now stop being impolite and eat already!" At this Naruto picked up his chopsticks, and with them picked up a piece of beef and popped it into his mouth. Chewing slowly and testing it with his tongue, his eyes widened and he swallowed, digging in like a ravenous animal.

"Glad you like it, Naruto. Now I won't have to tie you down and force you to eat it." Anko said, and Naruto coughed as he swallowed too fast and stared at her in horror at her threat.

"Yo-you'd do that?" Naruto asked, and Anko nodded as she said "Damn right. I said you were going to have a healthier diet, and I meant it, even if I have to tie you to that chair, force your mouth open, and shove the food down your throat. I refuse to allow your poor dietary habits kill you, and if I have to make you eat healthier I will."

Naruto blinked, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. Quickly wiping them away, he returned to his dinner and began eating much more slowly than before. But as he prepared to eat another bite, he looked up to Anko and said in an uncharacteristically reserved tone "Thank you."

Anko merely smiled and kept eating, returning with a simple "You're welcome."

* * *

Gai walked into the simple compound of the rather small Miyamoto clan, which consisted of a few small houses, a couple of blacksmith shops, and the two-story house that was the clan head's home. Entering the gate, he made his way toward the head's house, having been there many times since first being teamed with Shichigoro as a genin. He smiled as he remembered collaborating with the now-ANBU's elder brother Benkei about the large man's training regiment. Their crowning achievement was the idea of a heavy turtle's shell to strap on the trainee's back, something he later learned was not appreciated by either of the man's brothers.

Lee was enthusiastic about the idea, and performed the training with the youthful exuberance that the man had long come to expect from his apprentice. Oh, he'd tried to convince Tenten and Neji to perform the training as well, but both proved most... adamant against it, with Neji going so far as to threaten Gai.

The large man sighed as he thought of his unyouthful student, but shook it off as he found himself before the door of the house. Dusting himself off, he raised a hand and knocked sharply on the heavy wooden door, taking a step back. Seconds later, it swung open and a small woman with white hair tied back in a topknot dressed in a pink kimono adorned with white fhis tlowers stood there, a walking stick taller than her in hand, scowling as she growled "We don't want any!"

She was joined by Jinnosuke, who was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a pink t-shirt. The man placed a hand on her shoulder and said "Baa-sama, he's not selling anything. That's Shichigoro's teammate Gai, remember?"

"Eh? Gai?" the woman asked, fishing into a pocket and retrieving a pair of thick-lensed glasses from it. Slipping them on, she blinked and stared at Gai. After several moments, a small smile graced her face as she said "Oh, it is you, Gai-gaki."

Gai gave a beaming smile back as he replied "Hello Miyamoto-sama."

Her smile disappeared into a frown as she added "You've managed to get even uglier than the last time I saw ya."

Gai's posture slackened as he frowned and said "You say that every time you see me."

"Well it's true every time I see you!" she answered, and Jinnosuke sighed as he said "Baa-sama, please don't be so mean to everyone."

"Bah! I'm old AND a shinobi! I've earned my right to be as mean to anyone as I damn well please!" she replied, waving her walking stick in the air. Jinnosuke merely placed a hand on the small of her back, gently trying to lead her away as he said "Come on baa-sama, I think Sio-chan has a pot of tea ready for you."

The old woman smiled at that, shuffling off as she said "Sio-chan, such a good girl... I just wish she'd get out of that damn forge and try and get a husband."

"Of course, baa-sama." Jinnosuke said, turning to Gai with a sigh as he said "I apologize for her Gai, but you know..."

Gai sighed as he said "She's been like that since I was a Genin. Why does she think I'm ugly?"

"Eh, maybe it has something to do with the spandex jumpsuit. Or maybe the bowlcut. Or the eyebrows. Or..." Jinnosuke said, but stopped as he saw Gai's mood drop with each comment, and winced before patting the man on the back as he said "Sorry Gai, but you did ask."

"I did." Gai murmured, but bounced back with a smile as he said "But she doesn't like most people though!"

"That is true. Thinks that Anko is a whore, Shikaku's a zombie, Jiraiya's a 'gamajin', and Sarutobi... well, the lest said about what she's called him over the years, the better." Jinnosuke said with a nod, Gai smiling as he asked "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Benkei, Shichigoro, and I are training a genin as a favor to a friend of mine, and we need help deciding his taijutsu style." Jinnosuke said, and the large Jounin smiled and said "So you decided to talk to the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha for help?"

"You are the foremost expert on the subject." Jinnosuke replied, and Gai walked in, already going through the various styles he knew, but stopped and asked "Who is the genin?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

Gai stopped and stared at Jinnosuke as he asked "The Uzumaki Naruto?"

"Yes." Jinnosuke said, and the man's shoulders began shaking as tears began running down his cheeks. Blinking, Jinnosuke walked to the man and asked "Gai... Are you OK?"

"It's... It's just so beautifullll!" Gai exclaimed before he began sobbing. Jinnosuke stared at the green-clad man in shock before carefully walking close and patting him on the shoulder as he said "It's... it's OK Gai. Come on, Benkei and Shichigoro are waiting."

"But for you three to take a chance and take on a youthful yet outcasted child as a disciple, I-I-I..." Gai said before breaking down into another sobbing fit. Sighing, Jinnosuke lead the crying man toward the living room, wondering if this could possibly get any wierder than it already was.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he rubbed his full stomach, leaning back in his chair as Anko smirked and leaned against the table as she asked "So, did you enjoy your dinner Naruto?"

"Yep..." the blonde sighed, eyes drooping as Anko stood from her chair and moved to gather the dishes, only for Naruto to hop up onto his feet and say "Don't do that! Let me do it for you!"

Anko looked to the blonde and with a smile returned to her chair and said "Sure thing, have fun." As Naruto gathered up the dirty dishes, Anko watched the blonde with a sigh as she said "Naruto, I have something to talk to you about."

"About what?" Naruto asked, and Anko sighed again as she said "I've got a possible way to find Kushina for you. I just want to know if you want to write the message to her or not." This caused the blonde to pause and turn to her and ask "Re-really?"

"Now, before you get too excited, we don't know how long this'll take or if it'll even work, but its a possibility." Anko explained, and Naruto sniffed several times before giving a small nod as he said "I-I'll write the message, ju-just let me finish the dishes." Watching the blonde return to gathering the dishes while appearing to be teetering on the edge of dancing while cheering with joy or breaking down into a relieved sobbing fit, Anko sighed.

_'I really hope this works, for his sake.'_

* * *

Gai wiped his eyes on a tissue as he sat with Jinnosuke, Benkei, and Shichigoro, letting out a deep sigh before asking "So, you need me to help decide the best taijutsu style for the youthful if misunderstood Uzumaki Naruto?"

"Exactly Gai, I mean, you DID help me improve on my own training regiment, one that's already helped Shichigoro and Jinnosuke, as well as is going to go a long way in helping Naruto." Benkei said, and Gai smiled as he said "Yosh, you are indeed correct! So, how much weight are you using?"

"50 lbs." Jinnosuke said, and Gai frowned as he said "Most unyouthful! How is a measley 50 lbs going to do anything beneficial for Naruto?"

"Gai-sempai, not everyone is a taijutsu monster like you and Lee. We're having to start him off at the level of a normal academy student and going from there. We start where you would and Naruto's going to end up dead, then Anko would make us dead." Shichigoro said, and Gai blinked as he asked "Why would she care?"

"She's his girlfriend." Benkei said, and Gai blinked, before staring at the large man. After several moments, Benkei looked to Shichigoro as he asked "Uh... I think it broke Gai."

"Well great, now who are we going to have this discussion with?" Shichigoro asked with an annoyed grunt.

Jinnosuke began "Maybe we can get advice from Asuma-san, or maybe..."

"YOOOOOSH!"

All three turned to Gai in shock, who'd leapt to his feet, fists in the air, a flame seemingly burning in his eyes as he cried "NARUTO-KUN'S SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH IS OVERFLOWING TO THE POINT OF FLOODING! TO BE ABLE TO EASILY TAME THE WILD HEART OF KONOHA'S SNAKE SUMMONER IS A TESTAMENT TO HIS YOUTHFULNESS!"

He was suddenly bowled over by a large metal vase slamming into his head, followed by the Miyamoto matriarch crying out "SHUT UP YOU UGLY FREAK!"

"I'd suggest you quieting down, unless you want to lose more braincells." Jinnosuke said.

"And its not like you have many left to spare, Gai-sempai." Shichigoro added.

* * *

Naruto sighed as he stared at the scroll laid open before him, tapping the tip of the pen against the table as he did so. Sitting nearby, Anko watched him curiously, wondering when he was going to write the message to his long-lost mother. After several more silent minutes, he tossed the pen down and yelled in frustration, pulling at his hair as he did so.

"What's up with you?" Anko asked, and Naruto grumbled "I can't think of what to say."

Leaning back in her chair, Anko smiled and said "You're just overthinking things, Naru-kun. Times like these you need to just do what you do best, go with your heart and ignore your brain. Lord knows you've got more than enough experience with it." She burst into laughter at his indignant squawk and the rather silly-looking glare aimed at her.

"Not funny, Anko-chan." Naruto growled, turning back to the scroll before him. However, his glare disappeared, replaced with a smile as he picked up his pen again and began writing rapidly, Anko raising an eyebrow as she watched him write. As she watched the message grow, she asked "Can I read it after your done?"

"No." Naruto replied, and she gave an overdramatic sigh to get him to look up and proceeded to give a large pout, her eyes wide and shimmering with tears as she asked "Pleeeease Naruto-kun?"

"No!" Naruto repeated, head tilted downward so as to not see her face. Seeing him no longer looking at her, she smirked and practically purred "Naruuuto-kun, I'll do _anything_ to read that message?"

"ANKO-CHAN!"

"OK, OK, I get it, it's private for Kushina-san's eyes only." Anko said, and Naruto smiled and said "Thank you, Anko-chan."

"I'd suggest adding a picture of yourself to it, because if you are her son with Minato-bastard, she'd be able to recognize the combined facial features of the two of you." Anko suggested, and Naruto smiled as he said "Good idea, Anko-chan! Thank you!"

"No problem, Naruto-kun." Anko said, a smirk crossing her face as she added "Maybe you can give me that show I asked for as a thank you."

"ANKO-CHAN!"

* * *

Sitting with an ice pack on his head, Gai winced as he said "Miyamoto-sama still has as strong a throwing arm as ever, Jinnosuke-kun."

"Yeah, even though she's retired, she still keeps her throwing arm in excellent throwing shape... Mostly so she can be precise in her throws when chasing off those she assumes is trying to sell something if we get to the door first." Shichigoro said with a smirk, adding "I make sure to beat her the door whenever I can because I find her chasing away people funny."

"As much as we enjoy hearing your immature, borderline-sociopathic pasttimes, I'm afraid we have more important things to discuss." Benkei said, to which Shichigoro frowned and said "My pasttimes are in no way sociopathic."

"Anyways," Jinnosuke said, retrieving a notepad from his pocket and handing it to Gai as he said "Here's the measurements you'll need for consideration."

Watching Gai take the notepad and read the taken measurements, Shichigoro shook his head as he said "Still don't understand how he does it."

"Noone does." Jinnosuke added as Gai frowned in concentration, studying the notebook carefully. The man grew quiet for the better part of an hour, simply reading the notebook silently as the brothers watched, wondering what exactly was going through his head. As they watched, Benkei began dozing off, eyes slowly drifting closed...

"YOSH! I GOT IT!"

The sound of Benkei hitting the floor with a yelp was ignored by Shichigoro and Jinnosuke, who looked to the green-clad man curiously as Jinnosuke asked "Well?"

A smile crossed Gai's face as he said "Here's my thoughts on the subject..."


	8. Clothes and New Knowledge

Own Naruto? No, I do not.

Opening the apartment door of her shota boyfriend that morning, Anko expected many things. She expected him to be fast asleep so she could 'wake' him up with another of her snakes. She expected some kind of retaliatory prank for previous snake wake-up calls. She even expected that he'd finally give her that sexy dance she'd been wanting.

But what she found was something she actually didn't expect.

For she found Naruto seated in a chair, face and hands covered in white and red facepaint, a shadow clone seated before him adding the finishing touches with a small paintbrush. At hearing her enter the apartment, Naruto looked to her with a wide smile and asked "What'cha think, Anko-chan?"

Anko, staring in shock, asked the first the that came to mind: "What. The. Fuck?"

"Is the warpaint for my ID picture that awesome?" Naruto asked, looking to his shadow clone, who gave a thumbs up in agreement.

Finally shaking it off, Anko crossed her arms under her chest and asked "You do know that your 'warpaint' will never fly, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" Naruto questioned, Anko shaking her head as she answered "I mean that you try and have that mess on you in your ID picture and they'll make you retake it."

"Really?" Naruto asked, deflating at hearing that, to which Anko nodded and said "Yes. I should know, I tried it when I took my genin photo. And mine was a work of art, not that assault on the eyes you've got going on there."

"Hey! My warpaint is awesome!" Naruto argued, his clone nodding in agreement.

"Which obviously means that you have no sense of style, my little whisker-marked cutie." Anko replied, Naruto frowning as he asked "Oh yeah? What would you know about style?"

"I'll have you know that I'm the queen of style! I mean, just look at my great ensemble." Anko said, motioning to her current attire as she continued "Light with plenty of manueverability and a sense of sexiness to distract horny opponents, making killing them easier." And to prove her point, she gave a small twirl to show it off.

As she finished her twirl, an idea crossed her mind, which caused her to snap her fingers and say "In fact, how about I take you to the store and change that tracksuit for something more stylish!"

"What?" Naruto asked, Anko nodding as she continued undeterred "Yes, that's exactly what I'll do! We've got plenty of time to wash that mess off of you and get you into something that screams "super awesome ninja" even through a photo ID!"

"Wait but-but,,," Naruto tried, only for Anko to move quicker than he could follow, grab him by the collar, and drag him toward the bathroom as she said "First up, a good scrubbing so you don't embarrass me with your crime against art paintjob, and then, shopping!"

Watching them leave, the shadow clone shrugged and dispersed in a cloud of smoke.

Sarutobi sighed as he sat with his back toward his desk, staring out the picture window overlooking Konoha. It had been a week since he'd last seen Naruto, the night the blonde had discovered not only the fact he was the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, but also the son of Namikaze Minato, Fourth Hokage and the man who'd performed the sealing. It was the night that the boy had discovered the plans devised by his father, plans that resulted in his being orphaned and abandoned in a village that despised him for something beyond his control.

It was the night that Naruto had declared... no, screamed his hatred for both Minato and himself. Screamed how they had wronged him not only that night, but every day since because of their actions.

And ever since that night, Sarutobi was unable to erase the image of Naruto's pained, angry face as he screamed his hatred of not only him, but his own father as well. How they'd stolen his mother away from him, how they'd abandoned him for a plan devised before he was hours old.

But his thoughts were interrupted as his intercom came to life, the voice of his secretary saying "Miyamoto Jinnosuke is here as you requested, Hokage-sama."

Turning his chair to face his desk, Sarutobi pressed the button and replied "Send him in."

Seeing the door open, Sarutobi watched the pink-shirted man enter the room and stand before his desk as he asked "You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?"

Folding his hands in front of his face, Sarutobi studied the man as he asked "Yes. It's come to my attention that you and your brothers have been spending time these past few days training Uzumaki Naruto. May I ask why exactly you three have taken a sudden interest in the boy?"

"I was asked to train him as a favor to a friend of mine, and I asked my brothers to help. Benkai decided to help because he's rather fond of training himself and others, while Shichigoro chose to help because... well, as you know, Shichigoro has a unique sense of humor and he figured this would give him plenty of laughs." Jinnosuke answered.

Raising an eyebrow, Sarutobi asked "And who was the friend who asked for a favor?"

"Mitarashi Anko, who's apparently his girlfriend now." Jinnosuke replied, which caused the Hokage to stare at him and ask "Naruto is... dating tokubetsu jounin Mitarashi Anko?"

"Hai." was the reply.

Frowning slightly, Sarutobi asked "Anything... interesting happen between the two of them during your training sessions?

"Well, Anko and Naruto get rather... upset whenever you or Minato-san are brought up." was Jinnosuke's answer.

Sarutobi sighed at hearing this before he asked "Did either of them tell you why they get upset at the mention of Minato-san or me?"

"No, but Shichigoro, Benkai, and I believe that it's because Naruto-san has discovered his being the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and is upset not only because of that, but the fact it was kept from him for so long."

Sarutobi nodded to Jinnosuke, saying "Thank you, that will be all. You are dismissed."

"You're welcome Hokage-sama." Jinnosuke said, turning and exiting the office. As he left, Sarutobi slumped into his chair, turning once more to look over the village. It would appear that Naruto told Anko of what really occured that night, in spite of the law. Looking at the village, the elderly man feared he would need to punish Naruto for breaking his ruling.

As prepared to order the ruling, another thought crossed his mind, this one bringing a smile to his face.

'_I don't even know if Naruto did tell her. Anyways, even if Naruto did tell Anko the truth of that night, he must of done so before Iruka told him of the law, since noone else has heard of it. And if I were to punish him for telling Anko, questions will be asked about the law he broke, meaning that more people would learn, and the likelihood of all of them keeping silent is... Well, it's in the best interest of Konoha if I overlook this, so long as it spreads no further._' Sarutobi decided, nodding to himself as he came to conclusion.

'_Now..._' a deep sigh left him, '_back to this damnable paperwork._'

"Get in the damn dressing room!"

"No!"

"Get in there and put on those awesome clothes!"

"NO! My clothes are awesome enough dammit!"

The employees of the small clothing store continued to watch as Anko put her foot against Naruto's backside and began trying to force him into the dressing room, the blonde gripping the doorframe hard enough to turn his knuckles white. It was a rather... interesting battle of wills, and not one the employees often got to witness. And considering the combatants consisted of the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no kitsune and the infamous tokubetsu jounin Mitarashi Anko, it was also one that the employees refused to get involved with, choosing to let them handle it themselves.

"Your jumpsuit is an eyesore! Now listen to me and allow me to help you with my excellent fashion sense!"

"I said NO!"

Suddenly, a rather evil grin crossed the purple-haired woman's face, and with a speed earned through years of training, she darted forward, grabbed the hem of his pants, and yanked them down, revealing his boxers to the onlookers.

"ANKO!" Naruto yelped, releasing the doorframe to grab his pants, allowing Anko to shove him into the dressing room and close the door, holding it shut when Naruto tried yanking it open.

"Anko, let me out!" Naruto yelled through the door, trying to overpower her and yank it open.

"Not until you put on one of those outfits I picked out for you so I can see how you look in it!" Anko replied.

"... You suck." Naruto groused back, a grin crossing Anko's face as she answered suggestively "Oh, you have no idea how much I can suck, Naruto-kun." Her answer was several thuds in the building, one from the dressing room and others from a couple of the male employees and one of the females.

Anko responded by bursting into a fit of laughter so strong she had to lean against the dressing room door to keep herself from collapsing to the floor.

... Wow, over a year between updates, and this is all I got for ya? Sorry about that, but I promise I'm gonna update again sometime this year... probably.


	9. Meeting Konohamaru

Soggy Paper Towel Legal Defense no Jutsu!

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Anko groaned as she leaned against the wall beside the dressing room in which Naruto was getting dressed. It felt like she'd been waiting a year for the blonde to finish trying on the clothes she'd gathered for him, but then again she was well-known for being impatient. Sighing, she knocked on the door and asked "You finished yet?"

"Yeah yeah." Naruto replied, the door swinging open and Naruto walked out, dressed in a pair of blue shinobi slacks, a mesh shirt, and a black trenchcoat. Giving the blonde a once-over, Anko rubbed her chin thoughtfully before shaking her head in the negative.

"Nah, this just doesn't fit you." Anko said, Naruto looking at it and saying "Yeah, not enough orange."

"Try the next one." Anko ordered, and with a grunt Naruto walked back into the dressing room. This time he took a lot less time getting dressed, and exited the room in a brown trenchcoat, a pair of black khakis that hung to his ankles, and a dark-blue shinobi shirt.

"Nope, this doesn't work either." Anko muttered, and Naruto sighed as he entered the dressing room again.

Several more stereotypically 'shinobi' outfits were tried and rejected, until finally Naruto was back in his trademark jumpsuit, Anko shaking her head as she said "I guess this is the only outfit that really works on you."

"Yeah, I got it right the first time!" Naruto agreed, adding "Though I would like an awesome trenchcoat like you wear."

Hearing that, Anko 'hmmed' thoughtfully, walking around him as she studied him carefully. Finally, after several moments of looking over the blonde, she finally grinned, grabbed the brown trenchcoat from the pile of clothing, and drapped it over Naruto's shoulders.

"That's perfect!" Anko said with a smile, and slipping his arms into the sleeves, Naruto turned to the viewing mirror, twisted left, then right as he looked at himself, then taking on several 'badass' poses in the trenchcoat, a smile crossed the blonde's face as he did so.

"Yeah! It's great!" Naruto agreed, Anko ruffling his hair playfully as she said "See, told ya my awesome sense of fashion would help you out!"

"I guess... Wait! This is the jumpsuit I came in wearing! Only difference is that I put a trenchcoat on!" Naruto argued, Anko crossing her arms as she said "Yes, and with the trenchcoat, I turned an orange eyesore into an awesome ninja uniform! And for that, you are welcome!"

"I could have decided to put a trenchcoat on by myself, you know. I didn't really need you to do that for me." Naruto countered, Anko replying "But without me you'd have never even possibly thought about getting a trenchcoat, leaving you trenchcoatless in an orange eyesore. I repeat, you are welcome."

"But..." Naruto began, only for Anko to cut him off as she said "We'll have to put this debate for the ages on hold for now, you've got to hurry to the shinobi registration office for your picture!"

Turning to a wall clock, Naruto yelped and tried to run to the door, only for Anko to grab him by the collar as she said "But first, we've got to pay for this trenchcoat. Won't look good for you to be caught stealing before you're even officially registered as a ninja."

"Oh yeah." Naruto said with a sheepish chuckle.

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A short time later found a scowling Naruto sitting in front of the Hokage's desk across from Sarutobi, who was looking over Naruto's registration paperwork and trying to ignore the blonde's rather nasty look. Sighing, he closed the folder and said "Well, Naruto, it seems everything is in order, though the trenchcoat is new."

"It was a gift from Anko-chan." Naruto replied tensely, Sarutobi nodding in agreement as he said "Right. Now, I believe that's about all..."

"DIE OLD MAN!"

Naruto and Sarutobi turned to the doorway to see a 10-year old clad in an orange t-shirt, gray shorts, a gray hat with a tuft of hair sticking from the top, and long tan scarf charge into the room, a kunai in hand. However, he'd barely taken four steps into the room before his scarf ended up under his foot, causing him to fall to the floor with a yelp.

Hoping to his feet, the kid looked around as he asked "Who did that? Who tripped me up!"

Seeing Naruto, the child pointed at him and yelled "It was you, wasn't it?! You're the one who tripped me up!"

"Don't be stupid! You stepped on your own scarf!" Naruto replied, glaring at the child as Sarutobi palmed his face behind him.

"You did too trip me up! It had to be you and you're blaming it on my scarf to try and make me look bad!" the kid yelled back.

Getting off his chair with a growl, Naruto stomped up to the boy, lifted him up by the collar, and said "You totally did trip on your scarf you idiot! But that's besides the point! What do you think you're doing running into the Hokage's office with a kunai, you trying to get yourself killed!? I ought to give you a knock on the head for being so damn stupid!"

At that moment, a man clad in a stereotypical ninja uniform with a dark blue bandana over his head and wearing circular-lensed sunglasses burst into the room, took one "What do you think you're doing the Sandaime's honorable Grandson?"

"Grandson?" Naruto asked, looking at the child dangling from his hands, who smirked as he said "That's right! I'm Sarutobi Konohamaru, grandson of the Sandaime Hokage! What are you going to do now?"

Naruto stared at the kid for several moments before stunning the man by knocking Konohamaru hard on the top of the head as he yelled "I don't give a damn who you're the grandson of you idiot! That's not going to save you from the consequences of your actions!"

Dropping the boy on the floor, Naruto stormed out of the room grumbling, pushing the stunned man out of the way as he did so.

Regaining his composure, the man adjusted his sunglasses as he said "The nerve of that child! I ought to chase him down and teach him proper manners when dealing with someone of Konohamaru-sama's stature."

"Leave it alone Ebisu." Sarutobi said, to which Ebisu gaped and said "Bu-but Hokage-sama, he struck Konohamaru-sama and..."

"And maybe it'll do him some good, stop him from charging into my office with a kunai threatening to kill me." Sarutobi countered, the bandana-clad man saying "Well, that is rather questionable behaviour, but for someone like _that_ to strike someone like Konohamaru-sama..."

'_If you only knew the truth of Naruto's heritage..._' Sarutobi thought, saying aloud "Well, considering those like Konohamaru-kun aren't willing to punish him for his actions, maybe someone like Naruto is needed to teach him that actions have consequences for everyone, even Kages and their families."

Smirking, Sarutobi said "Besides, I think you'd be better off looking for Konohamaru, considering he escaped the room moments after Naruto left."

"WHAT?!" Ebisu cried, looking around for the boy, only to find him missing. As he ran out of the room calling for the missing 10-year-old, Sarutobi leaned back in his chair and chuckled, enjoying the scene.

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Walking down the street, Naruto rolled his eyes as he saw the same square of horizontal stripes on a fence made of vertical posts yet again. Walking up to the square, Naruto snatched it away from Konohamaru as he said "Oi, if you're going to disguise yourself against a fence, at least hold it so that the stripes on the cloth match the fence behind you!"

Konohamaru grinned and said "Ah-hah! I knew you were a worthy teacher!"

"Teacher? Me?" Naruto asked, and Konohamaru nodded as he replied "Yeah! I've heard that you were able to defeat Jiji, so if I learned under you I'd be able to beat Jiji and become Hokage!"

"Don't be stupid, you can't become the Hokage by defeating the current Hokage!" Naruto said, grumbling "Besides, why would you want to even be Hokage anyways? It's a dumb job that nobody should want!"

"What?! Being Hokage is an awesome job! Besides, being Hokage is the only way to get what I want most!" Konohamaru argued, Naruto saying "Being Hokage is a terrible job, and it ends up screwing over their family!"

"... Ye-yeah, it does that." Konohamaru agreed, but said "But what do you know about that anyways?!"

"I can't say." Naruto muttered, to which Konohamaru asked "Then why did you say being Hokage screws over their family?"

"Because I've looked into the past four Hokages, and their families always suffered for their position of power. From the Shodai's grandson to the Sandaime and Yondaime's wives, something terrible always happens to the families of those who wear the hat." Naruto said, and Konohamaru felt tears well in his eyes as he asked "Bu-but then how else am I supposed to get what I want most?"

"What do you want most anyways?" Naruto asked, and Konohamaru replied "To be recognized as Konohamaru and not 'The Honorable Grandson' or 'The Sandaime's Grandson'. To be seen as me, and not who my grandpa is."

"Well, you can get that without becoming Hokage." Naruto stated, causing Konohamaru to ask "Really? How?"

"By becoming a strong, well-respected ninja. I mean, people recognize the Sannin as the Sannin, and none of them have ever been Hokage. Not to mention Hatake Kakashi, Hanzo the Salamander, and many others." Naruto said, and with a nod Konohamaru replied "That's true. So... Can you help me become a strong, well-respected ninja then Naruto-aniki?"

"That... I can do. And I know some guys who can help you with it, because they're helping me!" Naruto said, and Konohamaru smiled as he said "YATTA! Whoever's training you has to be real strong!"

Ruffling the excited kid's head affectionately, Naruto smiled, knowing what the poor kid was about to be put through.

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Jinnosuke, Shichigoro, and Benkei stared at Naruto and Konohamaru in shock as he said "Wait wait-wait, you want me and my brothers to help you train the grandson of the Sandaime Hokage?"

"Yeah!" Naruto said, and Benkei asked "Why would we do this for you? We're doing this as a favor for Anko... Well, Jinnosuke is doing this as a favor for Anko, I'm doing it to help a future shinobi, and Shichigoro's doing it because... Well, because he enjoys causing others to suffer."

"Naruto-aniki, I don't think this is such a good idea anymore." Konohamaru said, not liking Shichigoro's reasoning for helping his 'big brother'.

"You make me sound like some kind of a sociopath." Shichigoro said, and Benkei replied "Well, there are times when you act like 'some kind of a sociopath' Shichigoro."

"I do not." Shichigoro grumbled, and Jinnosuke smiled sheepishly as he said "Just ignore my brothers, Konohamaru. Now, let's get you started on your training regimen, and get Naruto started on the next level of his."

"What? Why?" Naruto asked, and Jinnosuke replied "Well, because you decided to have us take on a new student, you have to start on the next level as punish... I mean, as a reward for taking such initiative."

"Oh." Naruto replied as Shichigoro caught Konohamaru by the collar as the kid tried to run, smiling as he said "Oh no no no, it's far too late to run now. You want us to train you, then training you're going to get."

Benkei proceeded to pick Konohamaru under the armpits and held him in the air for several moments before setting him down and saying "I think a 10, maybe 15 pound shell to start him off with."

"Only 10 or 15? I got started off with a 50 pound shell!" Naruto yelled, Benkai patting him on the head affectionately as he said "Well, you have three years and a full ninja academy training behind you. He's maybe in his first year of serious shinobi training, so we start him off a lot lighter than you."

"You guys suck." Naruto groused, Shichigoro laughing as he said "Oh, just wait until we get you started on the 'next level' Naruto-kun."

At that moment, Ebisu landed before the five, pointing to Konohamaru as he yelled "AH-HA! I found you honorable grandson! Now come along before this ruffian and his..." He trailed off as he realized who the trio with his student was.

"Ahhh, so you two know Ebisu-chan? I never would have guessed." Shichigoro said with a grin that sent a shudder running down the man's back.

"He-he-hello Shichigoro, Jinnosuke, Benkei." Ebisu muttered, sweat beginning to trickle down his face as he smiled weakly at them.

"Ebisu-chan?" Konohamaru asked, and Jinnosuke replied "Oh, Shichigoro and Ebisu have some... shall we say... history."

"History nothing! That man terrorized me as a kid!" Ebisu yelled, to which Shichigoro rolled his eyes and said "Well, I seem to recall that you started it with all the needless namecalling! And I would have left it well enough alone had you not brought my family into it!"

"I was only calling it as I see it." Ebisu said stiffly, ready to run at a moment's notice.

"Yeah, and I was only protecting the honor of my family name." Shichigoro replied, his smile turning dark as he asked "I'm not going to have to start protecting the honor of my family name again, will I?"

"N-n-n-no." Ebisu stated, Shichigoro's smile losing it's darkness as he said "Good. Now run along, we have students to train and you're wasting time."

"Bu-bu-but the Honorable Grandson!" Ebisu said, to which Jinnosuke looked around theatrically as he replid "Honorable Grandson? I don't see any 'Honorable Grandson' here. I only see Uzumaki Naruto and Sarutobi Konohamaru, two students of the Miyamoto Ninja Training Course. Now run along before Shichigoro decides that you're disrespecting the family name again."

With a very unmanly 'eep', Ebisu shunshined away as Jinnosuke turned to Konohamaru and said "Now, let's start with some basic exercises. And always remember 'Rule #1' of our course."

"Which is?" Konohamaru asked uncertainly, and Benkei replied with an honest smile "No pain, No gain."

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After over a year, I update this story again! See you with my next update.


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